Homecoming. Halloween. The Link Dance.
My friends always talk about these events like they’re the highlight of the year. The outfits, the pictures, the memories. And every time, I question their sanity.
Why would they ever want to spend their time like that?
My answers aren't “no one invited me” or “I’m busy.” I just genuinely would rather be doing anything else. I don’t want to go.
And no, I’m not antisocial, or an outcast.
We’ve normalized that everyone should want to be included. If you’re invited, you have to go.
If you’re not invited, you’re a loser with no friends.
Being alone is somehow treated like a problem when it’s actually necessary, especially if you’re an introvert living in a world obsessed with crowds. Social events are wildly overglorified, big friend groups are unnecessary and no, you don’t need constant, unsolicited interactions to be “normal.”
In fact, most social interactions are miserable.
We act like jumping up and down in a sweaty sardine can with loud music and meaningless small talk is the key to happiness.
The pressure to consistently be social doesn’t occur in major events. It’s a steady part of all my everyday interactions.
Whether it’s my math partner leaning over, breathing down my neck and trying to fill the “awkward silence” by asking me how my weekend was, or when I’m sitting alone in my therapist’s waiting room and someone comments on the weather. There’s a constant expectation that you should always be ready to talk and excited to share with others. But really, there is no such thing as awkward silence. It’s normal.
Most of the time, I don’t want to talk, and that shouldn’t be a problem.
It doesn’t stop outside of school. When a friend group hangs out, it has to be known. Archives, stories, posts—all proof they’re having fun. Suddenly it feels like being social isn’t just something people do. It’s something they have to prove.
But why?
People rely too much on other people for happiness. Being alone doesn’t automatically mean that something is wrong or you’re sad. There’s nothing you’re missing out on when there aren’t people talking at you from every direction.
I love being alone. The thing that gets me through my school days of dealing with annoying people is extremely simple: my alone time.
My AirPods in, I’ve got my crochet project in my lap and best of all, no one is within 50 feet of me.
You are the only person you are guaranteed to be with your entire life. That’s it. So if you can’t be comfortable embracing yourself and being alone, how can you expect to live a fulfilled life?
Spend some time alone. Say no if you don’t want to go. Don’t feel the need to share your every move and moment.
Not everyone needs to go to every event. Not everyone wants to talk all the time. And honestly, no one should feel like they have to.
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