Self-Titled Songs: Reviews of songs that are titled after or are about staffers’ names

I’ve never once thought, I should listen to a song titled my name. That is, until my friend showed me her playlist of songs with titles corresponding to each member of our friend groups’ name.

She managed to find three songs on Spotify called “Sophie,” but only one in particular stood out to me — “Sophie” by Black Polish.

This song is one describing a girl named Sophie and the artist Jay’s hidden love for her. I’m straight, but I definitely appreciate the sentiment, Jay! Hearing someone tell me that I’m stuck in their head and that they can’t take their eyes off me definitely boosts my confidence.

Maybe this is just me, but I feel like this song encapsulates the vibe that I give to other people completely. The alternative drum beat mixed with indie pop paired with a rock-inspired conclusion is everything I could ask for in a song.

The song’s lyrics and energy paint a picture of a rebellious teenage romance defined by the need to “run away” and “escape the world” together. I can’t help but imagine a sleepover dance party at 2 a.m. in a room filled with incense smoke and fairy lights when listening to the catchy chord progressions.

If anyone was ever planning on serenading me for a Prom-posal, I highly recommend this song for the occasion. Most likely, I’ll instantly say “yes.”

You know those iconic house party scenes in early 2000s movies? This is the upbeat, punk-rock song they’d use for that scene in the soundtrack.

I’d never heard of this song, let alone this band, before, but with its killer beat and guitar riffs — and considering that my name is in the title — I’m bothered that it’s taken 17 years to grace my ears. 

“Me and Mia” is the first track, single on Ted Leo and the Pharmacists’ 2012 album “Shake the Sheets.” The song is about a young man’s infatuation with a girl named Mia and their journey through life’s everyday trials and tribulations. The gist of the piece is that even though life can be tough sometimes, it’s a bit more bearable with Mia by your side. 

I’ll be recommending that everyone I interact with on a daily basis incorporate this song into their morning routine as a quintessential reminder of how terrible their lives would be if it weren’t for my company and overflowing optimism. 

The tempo is all rise and no fall, which is exactly how I’d like to be perceived — a pure, unfiltered ball of energy. Truly, I’m the light that guides you through your day and the ultimate partner-in-crime, just like the Mia in the song. 

Considering that this is one of the few “Mia” songs in stock on Spotify, I’d say it matches my energy surprisingly well.

Just like everyone else has done my entire life, Spotify assumed I meant to type “Lydia” when searching for a song with my name. After scrolling through the dozens of songs named after lucky Lydias, I came across probably the only three songs actually called “Lyda.” One of which was a seven-and-a-half-minute pop synth song without any lyrics by Mars Supial and another sung completely in Icelandic by a duo called Warmland. 

I wanted to try out “Varför ska vi Lyda?” by Massgrav, a Swedish rock band. Translating to “Why should we obey?”, the song is an aggressive, one-minute screamo whose only lyrics are “They blow us, they talk sh*t/Hypocritical wh*res who rule and set/Why should we obey?/When they blow us like hell.”

Yikes. At least I learned my name means obey in Swedish. 

In hopes of finding a semi-pleasant song that I could actually understand, I had to let go of my name’s exact spelling and take a listen to “Lida Rose” from the musical “The Music Man” — the song I was actually named after. 

The cheery love song is sung by a barbershop quartet, telling their “sweetheart” that they’re “home again.” He wants to confess his love, and sings to himself, “Do I love you? Oh yes, I love you,” but says he’ll only bravely tell her “when we dream again,” and ends with “Will I ever tell you? Oh no.” Why wouldn’t you tell me?

He finishes his ode to Lida, that she’ll unfortunately never hear, with “So here is my love song not fancy or fine, Lida Rose, oh won’t you be mine Lida Rose, oh Lida Rose…”

I don’t care how fancy or fine it is, any love song dedicated to me would certainly have me swooning. This beautifully harmonizing 1950s quartet knows just the way to my heart.

It seems that there’s a shortage of songs named after me, so finding a song written about someone named Maggie proved to be quite the challenge. After listening to “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart, I am a little offended that one of the few songs containing my name is about hating a girl named Maggie.

Don’t get me wrong, the cheerful tune and rhythm of this song seemed to perfectly match the energy I go for — but then I took a closer listen to the lyrics.

It appears Rod has a deep hatred for someone named Maggie, saying things like “Maggie I never want to see your face again.” With the already small number of songs that contain the name Maggie, I’m a little ashamed the one song I found with my name seems to be a ballad of his dislike towards his former lover.

I like to think that I’m a pleasant person, so naturally I don’t enjoy hearing my name in association with someone who “wears you out” or “steals your heart and breaks it for you.” 

Putting my love towards my name aside, the song is very catchy and perfect for any occasion — whether it’s driving with my windows down or playing in the background as I do my Physics homework. I just need to tune out the lyrics about “not being able to deal with Maggie anymore.”

“B…b…b… Bennie and the Jets” was the first nickname that I remember a teacher giving me. Having never heard the iconic Elton John culture-changing Bennie and the Jets, I was beyond annoyed with my whole 3rd grade class singing it to me.

Every time the song would come on the radio or played in stores, I’d get so embarrassed since everyone would associate the song with me. Now, I flex it as hard as I can and start bursting out into song upon hearing the first bar, which is something I would’ve never done before. Sometimes I feel like Elton John wrote the song specifically for me. 

Looking back now I should’ve appreciated it much more. When I hear the slow beat of the piano and a high pitched riff from Elton John, I’m flung back to a record bar in the ‘70s, wearing a gold suit and sipping on white wine. It’s something about the feel-good vibe of the song that makes me want to dance. That and the fact that my name is sung almost 50 times throughout. 

I feel like most people have a character in a movie or book that they can resonate their name with. And even though Ben feels like a pretty common name, I’ve never seen it on the big screen. But having Bennie and the Jets, a classic, with my name in the title makes up for it.

Ever since I was little, people have serenaded me with Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline,” but every once in a while there’s a middle-age man who opts to quote OutKast by wailing “CAROLINE.” Up until last year I had never listened to “Roses” — the song they’re referencing — but once I did I was a bit conflicted as a Caroline.

I love jamming out to their other hits like “Hey Ya!” and “Ms. Jackson,” but I can’t help but feel a little unsettled by “Roses.” The song paints this girl, Caroline, as a self-obsessed flirt with no real substance. Maybe I’m a little biased, but I just have to disagree that a Caroline would be “the reason for the word ‘b*tch.’”  

From my experiences with Carolines, we actually are “down to Mars” girls as OutKast would say and have quite a bit more substance to us than just looks. While the Caroline that André 3000 and Big Boi are talking about might fit those labels, I can’t say that I can relate this song to myself or tie it to any other Carolines I know.

The song as a whole is upbeat and fun to listen to, from the playful piano opening into the classic hip-hop rhythm. However, the chorus is a tad strange as it compares the smell of roses to “poo poo.” 

Personally, I believe Outkast just had a bad experience with a Caroline, and that “Roses” doesn’t accurately reflect the Caroline population as a whole. Regardless, the song is a must-queue next time you hop in your car… maybe not with a Caroline in the passenger seat though.