Ladies and gentlemen: OMG it’s finally fall! Let’s be honest, this season was made for us “common white girls”. It’s yoga pants weather, we can finally break out our “Apple Cider” Yankee candles without feeling like we’re banishing summer and most importantly, Starbucks has brought back the coveted Pumpkin Spice Latte. I can’t even. I just can’t.
One great thing about fall is the chillier weather. My sweat dries instantly in the nipping wind as I come out of my “Bikini Bootcamp” class at Fusion, which is great because I’ve been getting the stink-eye from that rude sales lady at Standard Style. OK, sorry I’m sweating all over your clothes, but I’m a paying customer, so that sarcastic undertone in your “Can I start a fitting room for you?” can seriously just stop.
The colder weather also allows for more accessories! I can wear hats now and no one can judge me because, as far as they know, I’m totally just wearing them to keep my ears warm. Not to mention it’s that time of year when I can finally wear my Burberry scarf and chestnut riding boots. Is there any better feeling in the world? As if.
I personally love a tidy, cozy room. Once September rolls around, I immediately break out the vacuum cleaner and the “Falling Leaves & Spice” Febreeze.
Then I go to town.
I make sure everything is spotless from the wooden monogram above my bed to my my Lilly Pulitzer bathmat. All of my fuzzy blankets must be washed and reek of lavender fabric softener for those nights when I just need to curl up in bed and binge-watch “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix. My room is my sanctuary when the weather starts to get colder, so it might as well be fabulous.
Obviously the best part of fall is the crafting. Pinterest blows up in early October with new caramel-oreo-literallyeveryjunkfoodever-brownies to make and creative Halloween costumes to DIY. OK, even if I don’t actually ever make any of the things I pin, at least they make good additions to my “Wife Me Up” board. Who has time for that anyway? I need to go get my nails done.
“But why are ‘white girls’ so infatuated with this particular season?” you ask.
You’re right, everything described above sure sounds a lot like winter.
“And what about summer and spring? Don’t you love those seasons too?” you question.
Well, duh. Easter is one of the best holidays because of brunch and the never-ending pastels, and not having to spend shopping money on spray tans almost makes summer a holiday in itself.
“Aren’t the reasons you’re listing a little ridiculous and superficial?” you murmur, avoiding my glare.
No. No they are not.
Fall is simply on a whole other level and anyone outside of our latte-sipping, Instagram-posting, non-ironic-OMG-uttering realm just won’t understand. Yes, all of the other seasons have their merits, but fall can do no wrong.
The temperature is just right. Not so hot and humid that my hair frizzes, but also not so cold that icicles form in my post-shower hair as I leave the house. It’s the perfect time of year for my cute leather jacket that actually does nothing to keep me warm. Plus there isn’t any snow on the ground yet to ruin my short Dolphin Blue Uggs.
Even the football games make fall a great season, despite not knowing whether we actually want a first down or not. One thing I do know is that I look amazing in my fuzzy earmuffs and Patagonia jacket.
Suffice it to say: fall is and will continue to be forevermore the season of the “common white girl.”
That is, unless Starbucks decides to discontinue their Pumpkin Spice Lattes.