Is It Worth It?: Long Distance Dating Going Into College And Why It Isn’t Such A Stretch

At some point in every high schooler’s senior year comes the time where they must decide what to take with them and what to leave behind after they toss up their graduation caps.

Choosing whether to take your favorite baggy t-shirt to college or leaving a car for your baby sister to inherit can get pretty messy — seniors are often torn between each decision. However, deciding between a pair of sweatpants and a polka dot swimsuit pales in comparison to the gut-wrenching decision to pursue a long distance relationship after high school.

Despite the insecurities that come with long-distance relationships, like the fear of cheating or disloyalty, trying to make it work is worth the risk of splitting up. Giving up prematurely should be reconsidered more so than it is in high school relationships. 

That being said, anyone staying in a high school relationship should be prepared for the problems that come with it — including second thoughts.

Questions like, “Do they love me enough to try and make this work?” or “Is it even worth it?” may haunt the relationship. Intrusive thoughts like these become second nature to the relationship once the countdown to college starts ticking.

That five word query, “is it even worth it?” is by far one of the most disruptive thoughts. Whether it’s contemplating your future with someone as you stand in front of the terminal on your way to college or getting lost in thought with all the ‘what ifs?’ the next four years will bring, it’s always that one question that ends up being the end all be all for your relationship.

Depending on the status of the relationship, the decision of whether or not to stay together may be a no-brainer. But, assuming both people in the relationship are happy and have a genuinely strong connection, questioning whether it’s worth it can cause quite the rift, at least in my own experience. My long distance high school girlfriend and I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with the uncertainty of everything, but that also distracted from the equally as important why we wanted to make it work.

When your time with someone is limited, the moments you spend together are that much more special and it forces you both to make the most out of the little time you do have together. 

In the end, it was the jar full of 100 individual compliments I made for her and the travel book she made for me that reaffirmed our bond and made us more open to continuing our relationship no matter how far apart we were. The experience taught me to be wary of doubt, as it can cloud both you and your partner’s minds in a way that may make you miss out on opportunities such as going the extra mile to make something special for your person.

Doubt is a powerful thing and once it’s wiggled its way into a relationship, there’s no guarantee that things will ever go back to normal, let alone in a short period of time. Once I started doubting my own relationship, I realized my doubt had become like a crack in the road. The more rain and erosion that happens, the deeper the fractures go and the harder they are to navigate or fix.

The same applies when making such a crucial decision. The more someone feeds their doubt after questioning their relationship, going back and forth between reasonings and sadness over the situation, the harder it’s going to be to truly evaluate and navigate the decision properly.

It’s a slippery slope to fall into and it can ruin any chance that you will successfully maintain a long distance relationship. Even so, after a lot of time and effort, my partner and I were able to come to the realization that it’s important to consider the question of, “is it worth it?” to a certain extent. We had to get comfortable with the fact that there isn’t any true way to know if something like a long distance relationship will ever be worth it, only those attempting to undergo such an endeavor can do their best and see where the cards may fall. 

If you’re in a happy relationship and genuinely want to be with the person you are with, I say give it a shot. While there is always a chance it will end, at least you can confidently say that by choosing to give it a shot you also have a chance of finding something worthwhile.