Halloween Hatred

“Is that real?”

My introduction to the concept of Halloween came in the sudden, unexplained appearance of fake cobwebs covering the house across from my elementary school. The house had always been bizarrely decorated: they planted pinwheels instead of flowers, owned a clan of ugly scarecrows and painted faces on their trees. But for this holiday, all of those had been taken down in favor of inflatable ghosts and carved vegetables.

It didn’t take long for it to sink in that Halloween wasn’t all grinning pumpkins and orange-and-black decor. What took a while was coming to terms with these traditions that I’d never seen before, from trick-or-treating to dressing up in costumes to the strangest of all: the American preoccupation with scaring themselves.

What classier way to scare yourself on Halloween than haunted houses and horror movies? I hated all those things – understandably, I was the kid who was afraid of the dark until I was 12. I had an ‘Active Imagination’ that could see things in the dark that were already terrifying for my 7-year-old mind. Halloween introduced the repulsive and grotesque to previously innocent me, and also into my dreams. I had lovely dreams until I went to Party City for balloons and walked right into a tangle of cobwebs and tattered black fabric. Moments later, I saw the leering, blood streaked skull behind the mess and sprinted the other way. I never got my balloons.

I had nightmares about it for weeks. Then again, I’m sure other kids have had plenty of experience with nightmares. But me? I’d never met a monster in my dreams before. In my seven years growing up in China, I’d never came across the concept of a monster. So, this culture: brain-eating corpses, blood-drinking immortals, rooms-locked-for-a-reason, was as much of a culture shock to me as bacon, waffles and sunny-side-up eggs. It was a way of life that I couldn’t understand for the life of me.

Honestly, I still don’t understand Halloween, even after eight years of sinking into the rhythm of living here.

I still don’t understand trick-or-treating. Aside from whatever historical blahblah is behind the ‘tradition’, why would people hand out free candy to hordes of unknown children? I mean, I don’t question the free candy, but why?

I still don’t understand costumes. Why the social requirement to dress up in a variety of outfits ranging (but not limited) from cute to a world of skimpy, ill-fitting, stupid and even offensive? Not to mention usually unsuited for a comfortable 50 degree end-of-October Kansan night.

I still don’t understand why people here enjoy terrifying things (like roller coasters- why roller coasters?). I’ll take a peek at a trailer now and then for the sake of my horror-loving friend, but “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is about as far as I’ll go in actually watching ‘horror movies’.

This year, maybe I’ll just keep the candy all for myself after all. While others enjoy their Halloween festivities, maybe I’ll watch a nice comedy, and laugh at costumes I see through the window… and wonder what the point of Halloween is.