Everything Wrong With Gender Reveals: These unnecessary parties have got to go.

Announcing a baby’s genitals at an elaborate party to your friends, family and social media has always been a bizarre concept to me. But these parties are no longer a mere confusion — they’ve become a violent threat. California is experiencing one of its worst wildfires in history, all thanks to a gender reveal party that used a homemade smoke generating device to reveal the baby’s gender. But congratulations, it’s a boy!

Of all the things we should leave in 2020, I think it’s time for disturbingly over-the-top gender reveals to go.

We’ve all had a family member or friend announce a pregnancy and fantasized about throwing countless birthday parties or spoiling a new baby rotten on Christmas morning. And of course, all the festivity and celebration starts with a baby shower. But what’s not a pressing call for celebration is the announcement of whether or not the baby will go through its life peeing standing up or sitting down.

Gender reveal parties have grown more popular with the use of social media. Mommy bloggers and baby boutiques are pushing the notion that a baby’s gender must be announced in the most obnoxious manner possible — as if it’s a cliffhanger and there aren’t only two possible outcomes. It’s somehow become not only accepted, but also expected, to have a party announcing to your friends and family if your child has XX or XY chromosomes. 

The first gender reveal parties were hosted in a birthing suite at a hospital with the gender announced by a doctor, but social media showmanship turns the process into an unnecessary celebration.

Don’t even get me started on all of the supplies that go into it: the pink and blue napkins and cups, the banners and the reveal method of choice — usually either a confetti cannon, a balloon or smoke bomb. It’s the marketing trick of the century, with party supply companies preying on soon-to-be parents urging them to spend money on all things “girl vs. boy.”

These kinds of parties usually always go wrong anyway. When it comes time to reveal the gender, the piñata won’t break or the balloon won’t pop — and what’s left is the dreaded awkward feeling of, “now what?” An immeasurable amount of pressure is put on these parties and they’re expected to go perfectly. There is no need to go out of your way to organize an Instagrammable gender reveal party amongst the amount of stress that already comes with being pregnant.  

Gender itself is also becoming more and more obsolete. Gender doesn’t define a person, and these dramatic “pink or blue” parties only continue to enforce outdated gender norms.  If you’re having a son, don’t throw a celebration covered in blue decorations with a theme of “sports” or “dinosaurs.” 

People have to stop assuming their kids won’t be transgender or non-binary. Parents need to be more open to the idea that their children’s identities aren’t fixed — they need to be supported and celebrated even as they grow and evolve. If your daughter is born a girl, that doesn’t mean she will necessarily conform to or identify as a girl. Gender reveal celebrations are confusing sex — dictated by your chromosomes — and gender identity, which can be harmful when bringing kids into the world. These parties have done more harm than good. The first person to do a gender reveal party, Jenna Meyers Karvunidis, said she regrets having a gender reveal party and starting the trend after realizing the threat it poses to the LBGTQ+ community.  

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be excited about whether your child will be born a girl or a boy — it’s every new parent’s dream to find out whether they’re having a daughter or a son. But the extravagant parties are unnecessary, and sometimes dangerous. 

Apart from the harmful fact that these reveals impose outdated gender roles, the creativity behind the reveals can turn into catastrophes — making the reason for throwing these parties less and less clear. The ongoing California wildfires are not the only time a gender reveal party has put people in danger. There have been occasions where people are running for their lives from an alligator during a “unique” reveal party. Other fires have been started, and a woman lost her life to a home-made cannon that shot colored powder.

I’d take this and the wildfires as a sign – pull the plug on these parties once and for all. 

Gender itself is also becoming more and more obsolete. Gender doesn’t define a person, and these dramatic “pink or blue” parties just force the gender norms. 

 People have to stop assuming their kids won’t be transgender or non-binary. Parents need to start celebrating their child based on who they are — not as what gender they decide to be. If your daughter is born a girl, that doesn’t mean she will necessarily conform to or identify as a girl. Gender reveal celebrations are confusing sex and gender identity. Which can be harmful when bringing kids into the world.