Drink Up — Energy Drink Review

If it’s one o’clock on a Sunday, my parents know exactly where to find me — the Starbucks on 95th and Mission with a Venti Strawberry Açaí Refresher sitting just to the right of my trig textbook.

And no, it’s not just a Sunday pick-me-up. I drink a refresher at least five times a week. It’s bad, I know, but I don’t like coffee. Ordering an Americano or double-shot espresso sounds about as good as broccoli to a five-year-old. Refreshers have been my saving grace for the coffee-hating teen that I am with enough caffeine to get me through my first hour APUSH class or 11 p.m. last minute bio study session. 

But to give my Starbucks app a break for a couple days, I decided to try out a few energy drinks to get my caffeine fill without wincing through the taste of coffee.

Drink #1 — Alani Nu Energy: Hawaiian Shaved Ice

The Alani Nu Hawaiian Shaved Ice Energy drink instantly threw my taste buds back to the snow cones at every elementary school carnival. I assumed with a Hawaiian Shaved Ice flavor that it would taste fruity, but I wasn’t expecting it to taste like the sugar-infested syrup from a snow-cone bottle. 

With the oddly specific taste and slightly carbonated texture, I wasn’t a huge fan. But I was able to drink about half the bottle on my 15-minute drive to church, which gave me a boost of energy that lasted through the end of the sermon. 

I’m not quite sure how they managed to fit 200 mg of caffeine into a 15 calorie bottle, but if you’re a huge shaved-ice fan, this would definitely be a good burst of energy without consuming a lot of calories. 

Drink #2 — Celsius Sparkling Kiwi Guava

With a bubbly texture and strong guava taste, the Celsius Sparkling Kiwi Guava energy drink tastes like the berry Propel on steroids. 

My eyes went wide from the powerful carbonation, but once the bubbles settled down, I was able to enjoy the taste. Similar to the Alani Nu drink, this one also had 200 mg of caffeine. Although I could only manage 1/4 of the bottle, that was still around 50 mg — maybe enough to get me out of my Monday morning funk. 

Drink #3 — 3D Bomb Pop 

Yep. Not a fan of this one either. To put it best, the taste resembled cough syrup mixed with a melty popsicle.

And again, this one had carbonation. I really should’ve done my research to satisfy my carbonation-hating taste buds better. 

You might be able to find me grabbing the non-carbonated Celsius from Target on a day I forgot to load money onto my Starbucks card, but chances are you’ll find me sitting in the corner table at Starbucks with my Refresher.  All three of the replacements I tried didn’t quite do it for me.