We’re Not Really Strangers: An interactive card game breaks conversation barriers

“What’s up?”

From Snapchat texts to Instagram DMs, this has become the greeting that everyone has become accustomed to. We’re used to texting surface-level questions such as “Wyd?” or “What’s the move?” but conversations don’t typically dive any deeper than that. 

“We’re Not Really Strangers” (WNRS), a card game created to bring mental health conversations into everyday life, is supposed to help form meaningful connections. Blown up across Instagram with its signature red box, the game was created to break the barriers of our tech world and reach past mundane conversations to bring people mentally closer — even if they have to be six feet apart.

The game features three different conversation levels — perception, connection and reflection. With each level sparking different thoughts, WNRS is meant to bring the conversation past the bland first-level, learning more about others and yourself.

To put this to the test, I played WNRS with a close friend of mine and a stranger to see how much I could learn about them on a personal level in 10 minutes. 

After six years of checking in over text with sophomore Julia Fillmore every day, you’d think there was nothing unknown about one another. Julia will put others’ needs over her own and is the most plan-oriented girl I know. But what is one compliment she wishes she could hear more often? The game asks thought-provoking questions like this, allowing me to get to know her even better than I had before.

The level-one questions in the game were easy for us because it felt like a normal 2 a.m. talk — getting past the “How are you feeling, really?” and “Do you need to rant?” questions has never been a struggle for us. But when we got to the highest third-level questions, we were both at a loss.

The difference between a 2 a.m. talk and “We’re Not Really Strangers” is that it forces you to reach into their emotions, not just your own. They ask you a level-three question like “What do you think my biggest weakness is?”, forcing you to answer before they can get a chance to explain how they really feel, filling in pieces you wouldn’t have guessed.

Creating connections doesn’t have to be forced, and during the pandemic, talking about mental health is more important than ever because we are constantly isolated. It’s comforting to validate each other’s emotions and emphasize that no one is alone. “We’re Not Really Strangers” helps foster this validation and creates openness, which is important with everyone — even close friends.

Talking to someone for the first time has become feared in our society — and I’m no different. Hiding behind a screen on Snapchat is viewed as “easier” than walking up to someone for face-to-face connection. 

I decided to have my first-ever conversation with freshman Caroline Reiser playing “We’re Not Really Strangers.” I learned more about her in 10 minutes than I know about some of my closest friends.

“Which are you more afraid of: failure or success, and why?”

This was the first question of the game, and Caroline paused, “I guess I am more afraid of failing, but failing in front of the whole world. Maybe it’s from TikTok, but every little thing you do and each thing you say is projected to the world and I think I would just crumble.”

Right off the bat, the game allowed me to learn something about Caroline that I only know about my best friend. The meaningful questions that come with the game allow you to form a connection with someone you don’t know.

I would have never learned that Caroline’s childhood dream morphed into her biggest fear during a Snapchat text string. Caroline’s dream of living Hannah Montana’s lifestyle has disappeared, as she’s scared of being “canceled.” The game forces you to ask the hard questions which allow you to actually get to know someone — something that has become neglected in our social-media-surrounded world.

Not only does the game force you to understand complex ideas about others, but it asks you to think about yourself — I’ve never thought of what compliment I hear most often or what I’m doing right now to reach my goals and the game allowed me to self reflect.

Cultivating face-to-face connections is crucial in a world controlled by technology. Snapping forehead pics back and forth until someone says something doesn’t get you anywhere. It’s important to take steps to find common interests and actually get to know each other, and “We’re Not Really Strangers” is the perfect game to do that. Now with a five-day streak, I made a new friend.