Useless: Amazon “essentials” are not as essential as they are made to seem

Alternating between the pointy and flat end, I stack the pizzas into a neat pile on the plate. I fold some Saran-wrap over the plate and stick it in the fridge — already daydreaming about the leftover slices I’ll eat for lunch tomorrow. 

But apparently I’ve been storing my pizza wrong all these years. Instead, what I need is a red, expandable tupperware container in the shape of a triangle — making it easier to store. 

Or at least, TikTok says so. 

My feed is constantly flooded with videos of so-called “essentials.” These gadgets aren’t essential. You’ve lived your life thus far without a portable vacuum for your desk, you can survive without one. 

So, this holiday season, don’t even bother putting these “essentials” in your cart. You won’t need them.

Consumers have been told to “buy, buy, buy” for decades. I can’t close Instagram without seeing at least one video about how a necklace detangler will save me hours. I didn’t need it 10 minutes ago, but now I need same-day shipping?

These products are not inherently bad or useless — sure, you might find a use for a magnetic soap holder. But if the reason why you’re typing in the three digits on the back of your credit card into Amazon is because it’ll make your life so much better, I’d put your card down.

However, it’s important to note there can be a need for these products in certain instances. Any product which increases accessibility and independence of disabled people should be recognized. For example, grocery bag carriers allow for those with limited hand dexterity to independently and more swiftly bring in groceries. These products have a use and purpose in the world, but they aren’t necessary for everyone. 

On the other hand, there are some products — like a 4 inch spear to grab pickles from the jar — that are simply useless. 

There’s bliss and simplicity in living an inefficient life. I don’t need to save any time but instead I can enjoy the simple acts of daily life without the need of additional products. 

I could install an automatic toothpaste dispenser but what would it bring to me? Not only would I have lost $10 and 15 minutes installing it, I’d save maybe a few seconds each day and to what benefit? I’ve never found the act of opening the toothpaste tube and putting some on the toothbrush difficult. These products are attempting to solve problems that don’t exist. Let them live on Amazon, not in your house. 

You don’t need anything else — and don’t let social media tell you otherwise. Next time you find an Amazon essential that actually looks kind of useful, wait two weeks before buying it and I promise you won’t want it anymore.

So this holiday season, skip the Amazon essentials and save some money. Try cooking dinner for your family one day or treating your friends to a movie. We all know those products will end up in the corner of the silverware drawer sitting unused anyways.