Tying Up Loose Ends

This is a place where the song “Go Rest High On That Mountain” has comforted friends of former East senior Tyler Rathbun as they sit in truck beds and lawn chairs on cold nights, crying to what they call “Ty’s Playlist.”

Go rest high on that mountain son, your work on Earth is done.

This is a place where those who visit are reminded of their lack of invincibility by looking down at the five pairs of soccer cleats, cross necklaces and dried, dead flowers lying in the mulch.

This is a place where a Lancer-blue plaque surrounded by small white stones reads In Loving Memory of Tyler Rathbun Dec. 22, 1994 — Nov. 25, 2012.

Yet in this place that commemorates the loss of Rathbun, his friends who congregate there still find a way to laugh while talking about their fond memories with the friend they lost.

They talk about how they wish they could be as uniquely kind as Rathbun was, how he was nice to everyone. They talk about how they wish he was there, just spending time with the people who love him the most, enjoying late night conversations and country music.

This memorial has become a sanctuary and a tangible legacy for those who want to remember Rathbun. A year after Rathbun’s death and the creation of the memorial, the median in the southwest corner of the East parking lot is still a place visited at 2 a.m. and a place that will never be seen with a rock out of place or litter lying in the mulch.

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On the morning of Sunday, Nov. 25, 2012, news broke that Rathbun had been in a deadly ATV accident in Miami County.

Standing amongst their grieving peers at a vigil held that night, then-juniors Jackson Granstaff and C.J. Schwartze thought about what the following school day was going to be like without Rathbun. He was a missing piece, and for Granstaff and Schwartze, life couldn’t and shouldn’t go on without the students doing something to honor him.

“I knew someone had to [do something to honor Tyler],” Granstaff said. “I knew someone was going to do it so it might as well be us.”

The morning of Monday, Nov. 26 had a beginning-of-winter chill. Granstaff and Schwartze parked their pickup truck and SUV next to one another in the parking lot on a median. Paper and a few markers laid on the hoods of their cars. What began as a poster with the words  “Rest In Peace TYLER” attracted hundreds of students and their multicolored signatures throughout the school day. Students wrote memories with Rathbun and words of sympathy to be given to his family.

This makeshift memorial became a meeting place for the grieving East community that day. This gave the idea to then-senior Mitch Sauls that a more permanent place for students to come and remember Rathbun should be built in the same area. Using donations from local hardware stores and the East administration, the boys purchased mulch, rock, trees and gutter guards.

The boys say creating the memorial was hard work, but caring for the area became their way of escaping the sobering reality of Rathbun’s death that week.

“The week Ty died I couldn’t wrap my head around going to school,” East alumni and friend of Rathbun’s, Patrick Simmons said. “There was still a lot of debris where the memorial was so I brought a broom and swept for like four hours. It was my place to think because I couldn’t really think anywhere else. I spent the whole week, hell, my whole senior year at that memorial.”

Sauls says a pair of senior boys spontaneously decided to sacrifice their lunch break in order to help him plant the donated trees. Taking the shovel from Sauls and other tools from Sauls’ truck, they proceeded to work the entirety of second lunch.

“They just wanted to help out and give me a break,” Sauls said. “I remember thinking how awesome it was that they were doing that because of Tyler.”

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The memorial was finalized the night of Thursday, Nov. 28.  Lit up by lights, the trees framed a heart outlined by white rock. Rathbun’s name to his close friends and family, Ty, lay in the center of the heart, next to his East soccer number, 14.

Standing in the cold, the boys looked down at the work they had completed. Granstaff had minor frostbite on six of his fingers from that week spent outside. Simmons wore Rathbun’s grey Ralph Lauren hoodie to stay warm.

Granstaff had brought a cross necklace that he had received as a toddler from his parents to hang at the memorial. Sauls buried a hat of his that Rathbun had commented on every time he saw Sauls.

Rathbun’s former teammates left their soccer cleats. Five pairs. This year, senior Kamran Tavakolinia made the decision to donate his cleats to the memorial after his soccer season was over.

“I just feel like he deserves them more than I do,” Tavakolinia said. “I gave those cleats a good run but I want him to have them. I went up [to the memorial] before every home game this year. It just helped me be at peace with myself, Ty and the game itself.”

Granstaff is the primary student who checks on the state of the memorial at least once a week. No matter what his plans are for the weekend, he’ll make it a point to visit the memorial on Saturday nights. The creators of the memorial who are now in college check on the memorial each time they come home. Granstaff plans to do this next year as well when he is attending Kansas State University, but the question still remains as to which current East student will take over maintaining the memorial.

“Somebody will definitely be willing,” Granstaff said. “We’re not just going to leave it unattended.”

Simmons, who currently attends the University of Kansas, says part of his time visiting the memorial is devoted to keeping it looking nice. Coping with Rathbun’s death hasn’t gotten any easier for him, but the memorial helps alleviate some of the pain. Simmons has been going to therapy ever since Rathbun passed away, but says his real therapy takes place whenever he visits the memorial.

“The reason I love the memorial so much is you can go up there and cry on a shoulder,” Simmons said. “It’s not like you’re being a burden to anybody, that’s what you do there. It’s a place where you feel love. A place where everyone’s there for everybody.”