To Help Or To Harm: The positive and negative effects of advice and the impact it leaves

I need your advice.

I hear it at least once a day. From other people, from myself, wherever I hear it — there’s always someone who doesn’t trust their gut to make the final decision.

To me, advice is inevitable. It’s like double checking a math problem, you just want to make sure you’re right.

But advice can be addictive — even when it’s not the best thing for us. At the end of the day, there are two paths that you can take — either follow your own gut or let someone make the decision for you. Sometimes trusting ourselves is the most difficult part of a decision, causing us to rely heavily on others for advice.

Advice often gives you an alternate perspective. That perspective will push you to stand up for yourself or try something new. But when taken too seriously that same, alternate perspective can lead to a reliance on other people’s decisions instead of your own.

The concept of advice has a nice ring to it — giving someone guidance when they need it most. However, getting advice from someone who has never been in the situation you’re in makes things complicated.

When someone doesn’t know what to say back to you, it’s easy to get frustrated because you feel lost and were hoping they would provide a clear perspective when they couldn’t. It’s not their fault, nor is it yours. Advice all depends on what someone has experienced, and sometimes you’re asking the wrong person.

Other times, it’s all a matter of reassurance. Am I making the right decision? What’s my next step? It’s a lot. That’s where the healthy side of advice comes in. When someone can confidently tell you that you’re doing the right thing for yourself and what you’re doing makes sense, that’s just one more right decision you made.

The most important aspect of advice is when you offer it. The advice you give to others and the impact it makes can be big, you could be the deciding decision. Don’t tell them what to do, but let them know the options and leave the decision up to them.

Advice is built on a foundation of trust and connection, when you’re let into someone’s personal life, it can be a hefty job to tell them what the perfect result will be. Advice is individualized, it’s meaningful to that singular person.

My final piece of advice, be careful with your own and someone else’s words but remember that the whole world isn’t resting on your shoulders — it’s up to you what you do next. You are capable of making your decision when it is best, with or without any advice.