The pressures, advantages and hidden tricks East students found while choosing a college roommate

*names changed to protect identity

When Senior Chelsea McLaughlin* received her first Instagram DM regarding a college roommate request, she immediately clicked on the girl’s account to scroll through photos.

From what McLaughlin could tell, the girl looked nice. Each of her posts received at least 100 comments, while McLaughlin’s pictures averaged just 14. This feat was especially impressive, considering the girl just wasn’t pretty. She wore Adidas superstars in one of her most recent posts, the type of shoes McLaughlin and her friends wore freshmen year. But they just weren’t in style anymore. 

“It’s fine that she was wearing them because that doesn’t affect what kind of person you are,” McLaughlin said. “I just found myself scrutinizing every detail of this girl’s life because you think it’s gonna be a huge deal that you’ll live with this person.”

McLaughlin’s method — using social media photos as a gauge to assess roommate compatibility — is a strategy that rarely works, according to Director of Housing Operations Jenn Doughty at the University of Oklahoma. Doughty believes a college freshman’s roommate sets the tone for the college experience.

Social media is one of the avenues students turn to to find their college roommate, while some rely upon going “random” by filling out a compatibility questionnaire. The different processes incoming college freshmen use to find a roommate can lead the formation of best friends or enemies.

Previously, Oklahoma University provided a questionnaire offering over 20 questions such as “Where are you from?,” What’s your major?” or “What kind of music do you listen to?” But after years dealing with roommates who wanted nothing to do with each other before even moving in or who squabbled over matching comforters, the questionnaire shifted.

Instead of asking what your favorite sports team is or what your major is, the revised questionnaire opted for questions that best indicate your lifestyle such as “Will you bring people in the room?,” “Are you a slob or neat freak?” or “What time are you getting up?” 

East grad and current Santa Clara University sophomore Anna Kanaley went the “random” route. She filled out her school’s roommate questionnaire and waited to be paired with a compatible roommate — Doughty finds roommates have the best luck through this approach. Kanaley was excited to go random so she wouldn’t have the false expectation of a perfect friend based on social media photos. And for the first quarter, she and her roommate were best friends. 

“She’s a perfectly nice person; we were best friends first quarter,” Kanaley said. “But we were just not compatible roommates. Which sucks because it ruined a friendship. We don’t talk to each other anymore.”

Starting the second quarter, Kanaley’s roommate fell behind on homework. She stayed up all night finishing missed assignments while Kanaley tried to ignore the lights and clacking of computer keys. During the day, her roommate napped, watched Netflix and skipped class. Sometimes, she set her alarm for 4:30 a.m. to finish the homework she couldn’t complete at 1 a.m. But Kanaley was the one who woke up to the alarm, not her roommate — to which the girl responded, “It’s not my fault I don’t wake up to my alarm.”

Kanaley asked her to work at night in places other than their shared 12-by-12-foot room, like the library, community lounge on their dorm floor or even the hallway. Kanaley made the argument that while her roommate’s homework could be done anywhere, she couldn’t sleep anywhere. Her roommate countered saying the room was hers too, meaning she should be able to do work when she wanted. 

Because so many of Kanaley’s friends were in the same dorm, she stayed even though she feared of being yelled at upon entering her own dorm room. She assumes there must have been a mistake made in her questionnaire process; she and her roommate had glaring differences in their schedules. Going random held so much promise to Kanaley. She always preferred it over the prospect of rooming with a friend or “shopping” for a roommate within Facebook groups. 

According to senior Maddie Reed, joining a school’s Facebook group is a rising strategy used by incoming freshman in the roommate search. In it, they post photos of themselves and mini biographies. The bios range from lengthy lists of their interests like going out, reading or playing sports to brief explanations of where they’re from and if they plan on rushing sororities. Reed found the process intimidating, as most girls are posting their very best photos. 

McLaughlin was also unsettled by the heavy dependence on photos. She spent hours sifting through which pictures of herself would attract the right roommates. Was it a good thing her arm looked as if it was holding a drink? Maybe that would steer away the people who didn’t maintain the same social schedule. She wondered how she could choose a roommate based on three photos and knowing she’s a communications major.

But East grad and University of Nebraska junior Bria Foley found her college roommate by doing just that: picking and choosing between different photos, texting with strangers, trying to speculate whether they would be best friends or not according to their 150-character bio. 

“It’s so hard to base a roommate off of pictures,” Foley said. “It’s almost like speed dating.” 

Foley and her roommate, Sophie, didn’t study the same major and got into different sororities. But they both preferred to work at night, so no one minded the lights on. They went out together and grabbed dinner at the dining hall. Both Foley and Sophie had similar friend group experiences in high school, so they knew what they were looking for in a friend — loyalty. According to Foley, their personalities vibed so well that they became best friends almost immediately. Next year, they’re moving in together to an on-campus apartment. 

“You go to college to get a degree, but you’re also getting an enormous toolkit of life skills,” Doughty said. “No matter who you are or where you are at some point in your life you will have a roommate whether it’s a sibling, spouse, parents, children. You need to learn how to live with someone.”