The Problem with Pockets

You go to put your hands in your pockets only to get that sinking feeling when you find they’re sewn shut “to be fashionable.”

We have a catastrophe here with women’s clothing. And it’s pockets.

Wikipedia may describe a pocket as just “a bag or envelope-like receptacle either fastened to or inserted in an article of clothing to hold small items” — but us girls know it’s much more than that. It may sound irrelevant, but trust me when I tell you that it makes a difference.

Pockets are somewhere to put your hands to avoid standing awkwardly with your arms dangling. Pockets are the perfect spot for that Burt’s Bees chapstick you know you’ll lose otherwise. In dramatic-but-maybe-true terms, pockets are absolutely a necessity to function in everyday life.

I watch guys walk around in any outfit — from a workout shirt and shorts to a blazer and dress pants — they don’t even think as they slide their phone, wallet, keys, extra change and snacks for later into any one of their pockets.

And not only do they have them, they’re deeper than Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur.

And then there’s me. If I’m going to get ready for a dinner at Taco Republic with my friends or for the Mario-themed homecoming dance, my outfit isn’t the only thing I need to stress about. I need a purse or clutch to match my heels because nothing is more awkward than having to ask your date to hold your phone and credit card.

Even when girls clothing throws us a bone and puts in a pocket, we’re lucky if it’s two square inches. I don’t have a clue what Lululemon or Zara think we’re going to do with these micro-sized pockets, but we surely can’t keep anything worth carrying in there.

And if I try to slide my iPhone into one more pocket just to find out it’s fake, I might just rip it right off.

Way back in the 17th century — when ruffles were actually appealing — someone invented the pocket. But that pocket was only placed in men’s clothing, other than the occasional small one they’d place under all the layers a woman was wearing, which made it virtually inaccessible.

When women finally got pockets, they were made for style instead of use. Now, I’m not trying to say you can place the root of all our problems in pockets, but I wouldn’t be opposed to the argument.

Call me a dreamer, but is it really that much to ask to have a pocket or two on the side of my quarter-zip? Or maybe place a normal-sized one in a pair of athletic shorts that we can actually use?

To every fashion designer out there — next time you’re designing a hot new pair of army green leggings or a navy blue mini dress, throw in a real pocket just for me.