Sophomore keeps close with mother despite living 4,680 miles apart

One year.

This is how long my mom has lived in Unterschleißheim, Germany. How long it has been since she moved there to take on a work assignment for her company, Texas Instruments. How long we’ve been living 5,000 miles apart.

It is how long I’ve been explaining to friend and stranger alike “why my mom lives in Europe.”

For more times than there are sausage varieties in Germany (1,500), I’ve answered questions such as, “How did that happen?” or “What is that like for you?” While I understand that people are naturally curious, it becomes tedious to explain the “how” and the “why” over and over again.

So sometimes I exaggerate. “My family was separated for the purposes of the Witness Protection Program” or “My mom’s a clown in a traveling circus” sound a lot more interesting than, “My parents are divorced and my mom works for a company that makes calculators.”

What I’d really rather be sharing is why physical distance apart doesn’t equal emotional distance apart for us. My mom and I are extremely close–closer, probably, than most other moms and daughters who live in the same town, but don’t take the time to communicate every day.

Here’s why: my parents divorced when I was six, and my mom moved to Dallas when I was in third grade. I’ve spent the last half of my life carving time out of each day to share what’s happening at school, sports or newspaper with my mom. We’ve become pros at communicating over long distances, whether through Facebook, or e-mail or calls on the phone.

So when she moved to Germany last January to take charge of TI’s marketing in eastern Europe, I wasn’t nearly as devastated at the distance as other daughters might be. It didn’t seem nearly as far away from Kansas as Texas did was when I was eight.

At that time, the 440 miles between Dallas and Overland Park seemed like forever to me. But over the years, postcards, e-mails and twice-daily phone calls made the miles shorter. The best times always were, though, summers and breaks from school, when we could visit in Dallas and physically spend time together. I won’t forget shopping at North Park Mall, riding the Titan at Six Flags or eating Jake’s Hamburgers every Friday night while debating the latest episode of The Bachelor.

Now that my mom’s in Germany, we stay connected by e-mailing every few days and calling every morning at seven and every afternoon at three, even with the seven-hour time difference. During freshman year, when we were still figuring out the best times to call, I often spent more of my lunch break on the phone with my mom than talking to my friends. Even though I was sitting in a crowded lunchroom, I felt like I was standing right next to her in Russia, Poland, Turkey or wherever she happened to be traveling that week. My friends did too, when I passed the phone around so they could say hello.

And while some kids might hate the idea of being friends with their parents on Facebook, it has been a blessing for my mom and me. She can wish me luck on a test with a quick message on my wall, and I can ask her how a presentation went with a comment on her status. We’re both avid amateur photographers, so we can share our impressions and experiences through photo albums as well.

My mom’s work assignment in Germany has allowed us to create memories and explore together in some pretty neat places.  We’ve toured castles in Prague, learned about communism in Budapest and admired architecture in Vienna.  And while of course I missed her as soon as I boarded the plane back to Kansas, I felt better knowing that we’re just as close as we would be if we were living only a few miles apart.