Sophomore Deals with Texting and How it Affects Her Relationships

Text to Boy #1: Hey! What’s up?

Thoughts flood my head. Should I have sent that text? Should I have added the exclamation point? What if he thinks I’m too desperate? Will he even respond?

According to Encyclopedia Britannica Online, the first text message sent from a cell phone was in 1992. I’d like to say that texting completely altered life as I knew it, but I would be exaggerating. Texting for most teens was a positive invention, a new way for them to become even more connected to their friends. For me, it wasn’t. As much as I use it, it only adds unnecessary stress and depression. Now, when I say “stress”, I don’t mean the stress that I get from finals. And when I say depression, I don’t mean mental institution kind of stuff. I mean stress, the little nagging feeling that you get because so-and-so didn’t respond to your text. And depression, like the sad feeling you get because your first grade crush threw away your Valentine.

Response from Boy #1: Ew it’s you…

I stop. Read. Then freak out. Is he joking? I mean he has to be, right? He would never actually say that…would he? I then read on…

Ew it’s you…haha just kidding. What’s up?

I interpret most of my texts negatively. Every time I read a text from a person I don’t know very well, I see it in negative light. Unless there is a “haha” at the end, no one can be sure if it’s sarcastic. To get to know someone through texting is hard. I feel, that you need to know how they operate and what their humor is like in order to understand their texts. That is why I do not think you can get to know someone over text. Texting relationships are so hard, only because texting is hard. It’s hard in the way that you can’t be sure what others are thinking of you, or how they interpret the text. There are no visible emotions. No hand gestures. No laughs or giggles. Okay that’s a lie, there are “emoticons.” Little smiley faces, frowning faces and even crying faces can be found in my phone’s “emoticons” section. These can not replace actual human emotions. They are merely substitutes for what is true body language. If I had been talking face to face to Boy #1, I would have seen the smile on his face and heard the sarcastic ring to his voice.

Text from Boy #2: Hey

Really? Did he really just send a one word text…hey? Does he actual want to be texting me? Or is he just bored?

I can honestly say I have not sent nor received a “hey” text since freshman year. I’m not one to strike up a cyber-conversation; it’s just not how I roll. Maybe a joke to start off a so called “bored” conversation is more of my way. Or even a question. But I will admit I used to be a “hey” texter. The joy of first getting texting takes over, and you want to talk to everyone about anything. But the thing is…there is nothing to talk about 24/7.

I didn’t get a phone until after eighth grade, and my parents didn’t give us texting until my freshman year. My oldest brother had suffered a whole two years of having a phone without texting (shockingly enough, he survived). I only suffered a summer. Without texting, I was completely happy. I was completely oblivious. However, my happiness faded quickly, only months after I receiving my phone, my parents let us have texting. The first week I had texting, when it was still a novelty, was my “hey” texting stage. Thankfully, it only lasted a short period of time before I realized how pointless it was.

Text from sophomore StuCo President: Hey guys meeting tomorrow during Seminar B.

Oh shoot, I almost forgot about that. Thank goodness she texted me!

This, my friends, is what texting should be used for. I am glad I have texting now because a lot of school clubs and groups contact me through it. At the same time, I sometimes wish my mom had never given in. Every Sunday I go to church and leave my phone at home. For a total of four hours, I feel free of responsibility. No one can reach me unless they are with me and, quite frankly, I like it that way. It makes me feel like I’m in a different generation. I once read a book called Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. In it, they wrote love letters. Instead of today’s “sexting” they were writing love letters to express their feelings. Long, wordy letters that had meaning. You couldn’t max out your characters. You didn’t have to exchange quick one-word texts that made others have to think about the meaning. The notes had details and they were special. You didn’t receive a love letter every hour, on the hour like you do with texts. As cheesy as that sounds, I wish it still happened.

I wish notes were still written and people still talked face-to-face. A relationship is not meant to be only texting. Relationships are meant to form over time and maybe some text messages will help them form. But to communicate only over texting, in my opinion, is wrong. We aren’t in middle school anymore. Why not wait to tell your friend in person that so-and-so just asked you out? That facial expression could make your day…the one that a text wouldn’t have. Taking a break from my phone in the future is something I’m going to work on. I still find myself frequently checking my phone for a “missed alert.” It’s a habit that I’m going to try and change. For now, I vow to stop the awkward texting and keep it face-to-face.