Since I was a sophomore I’ve been told that senior year is the time to kick back, relax and breeze through the home stretch of high school.
Lies.
This year has been stressful with a capital S.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of stellar senior nights — probably too many — but the most exciting times have been coupled with an unprecedented level of anxiety about a slew of stressors like journalism leadership, semester-long projects and the future.
As a senior, responsibilities both in and out of school double as motivation dwindles. Add to that the pressure of facing what’s been the biggest decision of my life so far — college. Meanwhile, I’m expected to be having the time of my life.
Obviously no one forced me to take four AP courses or be involved in a dozen extracurriculars, but I wish someone had given me a heads up that during senior year it’s crucial to factor in fully stocked social and academic calendars, as well as the splitting headache that is the college admissions process.
Researching programs, going on college tours every other weekend, hunting for recommendation letters, searching for scholarships, fine-tuning my resume — I can’t keep listing things or I’ll have an anxiety attack.
That’s how I’d sum up the first semester of senior year. All the college preparation, along with massive reports for AP English, a ten page DECA paper and a Harbinger editorial position.
It just wasn’t plausible for me to be as involved as a senior as I’ve been the past few years. Attempting to do it all during the busiest year of high school was completely unrealistic. Halfway through the year I dropped one of my marketing classes, retired from lacrosse and told my boss I couldn’t work during the week anymore — an extreme but necessary stepback.
But not everyone is as privileged as I am.
It’s not as easy for most people to take a step back and reconfigure their schedules to accommodate the stress. Seniors who are committed to schools for their sport don’t have the option to be “too busy” to play. Similarly, those who have to pay for their college or don’t receive financial aid and scholarships can’t afford to work minimal hours.
I’m genuinely in awe of my peers who have been able to manage everything without sacrificing any extracurriculars — or their sanity.
And now everyone’s roommate-searching and finalizing their housing for next year, preparing for rush, planning graduation parties, organizing prom, planning banquets and closing out the year with a-dozen-and-one miscellaneous social obligations. Exhausting.
This is not what I was promised!
I just felt so stupidly blindsided by the level of pressure I’ve felt as a senior because as an underclassmen I’d only ever hear people talk about the good times. How was I supposed to know my final year wasn’t all grad parties and senior sunrises?
It feels almost awkward to talk about because I’m supposed to be having a great time and there’s a pressure to mirror this immaculate energy that was supposed to come with closing out high school.
I don’t mean to be so negative and make being a senior sound like all work and no fun, because that’s not true. Everyone squished in the front of the stands at basketball games, that secure feeling of walking down the halls and waving hello to everyone — even the teachers — and partaking in a plethora of senior traditions — assassins, skip days, senior spring break — scattered throughout the year has been amazing. But all the joy has been met with all the stress.
People need to be more straightforward about what senior year truly entails. I’m sorry to be the one to break the news to all you underclassmen, but it’s like any other year — there are just as many highs as there are lows.
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