It was about the time that the second HD obese bottom appeared on the screen that I saw two couples leave the theatre. I checked my phone impatiently, but I still had half the movie to go. Aside from the elementary school boy sitting in the front row, no one was laughing.
The “Scary Movie” series could be compared to Lindsay Lohan’s career – fun and bright in the beginning, but then degrading to a disappointingly low level. Don’t get me wrong- the previous 1-4 “scary movies” were some of the best spoofs out there. They actually had witty humor, semi-followable plotlines and a good amount of political incorrectness. However, in “Scary Movie 5”, I was disgusted at the amount of stupid scenes, meaningless cameos and the random child abuse.
The movie made fun of at least 20 other movies. The main plot was based off of “Mama”, yet Tisdale and her dolt coactor gained custody of the possessed children (who were once Charlie Sheen’s). Throughout the movie, they added in one of Tyler Perry’s famous characters, “Madea”, and the brilliant monkey from “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”, who still seemed to throw his excrement everywhere.
I found a similarity between Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg, Mac Miller and Mike Tyson in the movie. None of them are decent actors. It’s pretty obvious that Malcolm D. Lee was trying to attract pop culture-obsessed preteens who would gladly throw away $4 to see Lindsay Lohan make fun of herself.
Part of what made the previous “Scary Movies” so funny was the deliberate low quality special effects. At least in the previous movies, they clearly replaced a boy with a stuffed dummy before they threw him out of a window. In the new movie, they animate the character’s stunt scenes to make them more realistic, taking away the ridiculousness of the scene.
It was obvious that little thought went into the scenes throughout the movie. In the first scene, Mac Miller and Snoop Dogg made an appearance. I still don’t know why they were in the movie or what they did to contribute to the paper-thin plot. At one point, they were running from god knows what carrying a giant joint. I kept thinking to myself, Is this humor? Am I supposed to “LOL” at this part? In another scene, an obese Mexican woman was partying with a bunch of drunk pool lights. Pool lights. There was absolutely no reason in the movie that the underwater light fixtures should have been chugging beer and barfing.
“Scary Movie 5” was a disgrace to the entire spoof genre. It’s truly disappointing to see a series with so many loyal fans get let down by producers that are entirely motivated by money. With it’s utterly tasteless humor and inane pop culture jabs, “Scary Movie 5” is a must-not-see.
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