Rooting for Rom-Coms: Romantic comedies are becoming gender-neutral

I burst through my front door after a full work day and a two-hour soccer scrimmage with only three things on my mind: I’m sore. I’m sweaty. I’m starving. I cast my soaking socks aside, smack the top of my door frame in an impressive act of athleticism and make a beeline to the pantry when suddenly —

“Kiki wants to go over divorce papers.”

“Okay, you can tell Kiki she can light herself on fire.”

I snap out of my trance and curiously stand there for a second — who’s Kiki and why does someone want her to commit self-immolation? Within minutes I’ve pulled the ottoman up within feet of the television and practically planted my eyes onto the screen for the next couple hours.

I don’t have the dedication or resolve to sit through a whole movie, so I only watch movies by force or by accident. “Set it Up,” the Netflix original romantic comedy, was one of those accidents.

***

Since the summertime, I’ve unintentionally been immersed into the world of “romedies” thanks to the movie nights hosted by my resident rom-com connoisseurs, my sister and mother. I’m a sucker for comedy, character development and plot-driven media, and a good rom-com lands perfectly in the middle of my movie Venn Diagram.

But when I try to share my thoughts on why “Before We Go” is lacking in a significant fight between lovers or why “High School Musical” is in fact a rom-com despite being a Disney Channel Original Movie, I’m met with jokes and general laughter — because guys don’t watch rom-coms.

Is this some sort of forbidden love? Am I the protagonist of my own movie, and this my conflict?

Well, no. I’m not offended by the jeering, but I don’t understand why many people still view my fondness for “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” and other romantic comedies as taboo. In an age where society is shifting more and more towards gender neutrality, romantic media shouldn’t be kept from being universally appreciated or accepted by all genders.

The roles of men and women in society have been ingrained in our culture for hundreds of years, and although we have made massive strides toward gender equality, archaic ideals of masculinity and femininity are still ever-present in everyday life.

Men can’t be vulnerable, and romance is vulnerable. Rom-coms appeal to our emotions with “meet cutes” and sweet scenes, and societally, that’s soft and girly. For a man to enjoy something traditionally feminine immediately warrants quips about being queer — so we stick to fighting over fantasy football and comparing our… uh, biceps to protect our fragile masculinities, bro.

There’s nothing inherently feminine about romance, though, in the same way that there is nothing inherently masculine about action or adventure. The only obstacles that separate us from this truth are our outdated societal constructs.

Many genres are starting to break this social barrier, however. Action and superhero movies have ditched the trope of the lone super-manly-man and started featuring diverse casts of male and female leads. Recent films like 2017’s “Wonder Woman” and “Black Panther” and “Star Wars: the Force Awakens” place fierce and powerful women at the forefront of the films.

In the same way, romantic comedies are starting to shift closer toward universal appeal and gender neutrality through the inclusion of more relatable, diverse protagonists. The Netflix original movie “Set it Up” follows a millennial love story between a 28-year-old ex-frat bro and a basically-broke magazine journalist through the eyes of both the man and woman, and the original series “Lovesick” centers around the love-life of an awkward, chlamydia-ridden man. “Love, Simon” tells a modern love story about a sweet and sensitive gay protagonist.

Moviemakers are shifting from the conventional, but people still haven’t accepted the universality of — and my affinity towards — romantic comedies with the same warmth and normalcy as other genres. But if the movies themselves are breaking society’s obsolete boundaries, we need to do a better job of forgetting about them, too.

I’m accidentally in love with rom-coms, and that’s not feminine nor manly — it’s simply okay.