Park Lanes: (D)
Park Lanes, home of SM Northwest bowling. Walking inside, after a 20 minute drive, the ceiling grabs my attention. It’s painted like the sky, with clouds and everything. It looks a little like a tacky casino, but tacky and bowling alley are kind of synonymous.
I’ve shot here a few times before. I actually shot my highest series at this house. But then I also nearly got kicked out of a bowling meet at this house for screaming “frick” after bowling a 108. It was a bit worse than frick.
Park’s shot, or oil pattern, has always perplexed me, and almost everyone I know. Without getting too technical, the way they put the oil on the lane is just weird. For an experienced bowler, it takes a lot of adjustments and precision to find a half-decent shot. But if you’re just looking for a place to throw a ball down the lanes with friends, Park’s a decent house.
If you’re not a serious bowler and you don’t mind a long drive, Park’s a great house. If you’re more experienced and bowl competitively, avoid Park like the dreaded seven-ten split.
Mission Lanes: (B)
A couple of friends and I were looking for a place to go throw a bowling ball late at night for “Cosmic Bowling:” cheap bowling, as long as you don’t mind black lights and loud, usually crummy music ranging from Lil Wayne to Blake Tractor Alcoholic (I don’t know country artists). We ended up stopping by Mission Bowl
I used to bowl at Mission all the time when I was little. It was good to be back in the old alley. Nostalgia filled my heart as we walked to the front desk and asked for a pair of lanes. It quickly drained when they only gave us one because of some “policy.”
Even when I bowl alone, I always ask for two lanes so you can alternate on them like you would in a real game. Giving one lane just ruins your shot. You use the oil too much and you’re forced to constantly adjust. It’s a bunch of technical stuff, but it’s as frustrating as the ten pins it leaves.
So from that point it went downhill. Mission does have a better shot than Park, but the oil dries out too quickly, and your ball starts hooking (turning) way too much. They also have the tendency to leave the most cursed pin in the game: the evil ten pin.
If you’re looking for a short, convenient drive, go to Mission, but don’t tell them I sent you.
College Lanes: (A)
College Lanes, or pretty much the second best bowling alley ever. During the bowling season, I’m usually at College six days out of the week. It’s my Maclaren’s Bar.
I might be a little partial, seeing that most of the employees know me by name and vice versa, but, like I said, College is the second best house I’ve ever bowled in (I will never forgive AMF for closing King Louie). They’ve got the best shot, the best employees and they always give me two lanes. What more can I ask for?
That’s why you’ll see me up there almost every Saturday morning and not over at Park or Mission. Because unless you want to drive out to Olathe East Lanes all the way out in, you’ll never guess, Olathe, there’s no place anywhere near as good as College Lanes.
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