Remembering Alex Carney

Alex Carney played football – varsity by his sophomore year. He loved watching Disney’s “Starstruck” with his girlfriend, sophomore Kenzie Born, on the tan sectional in her basement. He went out on the weekends and occasionally rebelled against his parents, just like any other teen. He went to church every Sunday.

He gave his energy. He gave his time. He gave his presence. Alex gave a lot – it was his specialty.

He gave a lonely girl someone to talk to on the first day of school, morale to his football teammates and the Upward basketball players his entire Saturdays.

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Alex died on Wednesday, Feb. 14. He was announced brain dead the night before. There was hardly time to mourn because they needed to save his organs for donation, according to Chris Carney, Alex’s father.

“We knew we weren’t going to get our boy back,” Chris said. “Once we got the news, the only thing to do was something Alex would want. Something selfless, just like he was. So we stopped fighting for his life and started fighting for his organs.”

He gave his heart to everyone he knew, even after his death. A 16-year-old boy in the southeast United States now has the chance to live because Alex gave him his heart. Just as he did with all the people he knew.

Everyone he had given to went to his funeral on Feb. 20 to give back to Alex one last time: football coach Derrick Rider, his best friend, sophomore Kaden Bornholtz, neurosurgeons who did everything they could to save his last bit of life, Prairie Elementary fifth grade teacher, Rachel Campbell.

The right section of the sanctuary was flooded with black and blue – the lancer football team crammed into each row. The team presented the number 41 varsity jersey to his parents after everyone else sat down.

Alex has thrashed four East football jerseys since fifth grade. 41 was the jersey he wore during every Friday night game and sitting in the back of a truck on Lancer day this year.

When he wasn’t on the field, he’d sit in Born’s basement and make her watch his Hudl film analyzing his every juke and block, looking for ways to improve as a running back.

“Every other day I would pick him up from practice,” Born said. “Then we would go back to my house, eat dinner and he’d make me watch every play from practice 20 times from four different angles.”

Alex worked hard enough on scout team to make his way into the starting varsity rotation by the end of his sophomore season.

“He was a great player, but he had more heart than anyone else on the field,” varsity running back coach Matt Jacobsen said. “He was a leader too. Everything he did was for the team, not his own personal glory. He wanted us to be the best, not just himself.”

His good hands and ability to take hits weren’t the only thing that led to his football success. No one looked forward to sweating in full pads in the August heat – Alex changed that.

“He had a swagger and lightheartedness about him that always brought the morale up,” Rider said. “He was the one I could joke around with, but still would play his absolute best every play, whether it was giving a good look for the varsity or real varsity reps.”

The trust his teammates had in him didn’t always carry over into his family. He was able to trick his dad for weeks into taking him to a new friend’s house, when in reality, he was going to the house of the girl he liked. Once Alex set his mind to a decision, he couldn’t be deterred from it. Chris admits Alex wasn’t a perfect kid, but that didn’t stop him from being proud of him.

“Alex was stubborn,” Chris said. “We weren’t as close as I wished we could have been the past couple years. He was a teenage boy, everyone goes through that phase. But, no matter what, I loved that kid so much.”

Chris and Beth, Alex’s mother, loved him as any parent would, but they were even prouder of his giving soul. When Alex’s name was drawn as the winner of a Razor scooter in a basketball raffle when he was younger, he decided he wanted someone who deserved it more than him to have it. He spent days searching for that perfect person, according to Chris.

People loved Alex because of his thoughtfulness. During a summer enrichment camp visit to Oceans of Fun, Alex thought of his dad as the smell of sugary funnel cakes filled his nose. Weeks before, his dad jokingly told his family at dinner that he had skipped work to eat funnel cakes at Worlds of Fun. Alex carried a funnel cake with him through the park the entire day to surprise his dad. By the end of the day the funnel cake was cold and the dusting of powdered sugar it came with had seeped into the cake, but Chris was no less grateful for the gift.

He gave to everyone, including himself.

Alex fought for his life for a week, just as he fought for his varsity spot and to get Born to say yes when he asked her out. He wouldn’t let his body give in. He fought through a four-hour brain surgery. He fought to breathe. He fought to survive, and he never gave up. Chris wrote a note on Alex’s arm cast: “Alex – keep fighting – Love Dad.”

Alex was one neuron away from being brain dead. He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t open his eyes or wiggle his fingers. He couldn’t even breathe on his own. Even then, Alex drew people in. Nurses fought to work on him and give him the time he relentlessly gave everyone else.

Even though Alex couldn’t tell them, the Carney’s knew Alex would want to donate his organs. If he couldn’t live, Alex would want someone else to.

“This was Alex’s last way of giving,” Chris said. “He’s able to save 70 to 80 lives. We wanted our son, but knew we couldn’t have him back. So we wanted to give life to others.”

It took three days to complete the donation process after he died. Alex’s lungs were given to a 62-year-old woman and his liver to a man in his 50’s. One kidney and his pancreas were received by a man in his 40’s – he will no longer be diabetic. His other kidney was given to his minister’s brother, Don Funderburk, who had been in line for a kidney for five years.

Whether it was under the Friday night lights, sitting next to a lonely girl in the lunchroom at  Indian Hills or reffing Upward basketball games, Alex brought a smile to everyone around him. He gave them his compassion. Although he’s no longer able to carry on his legacy – and his smile – himself, the 70 plus organ recipients will keep him alive.