Quarantining for COVID-19: How it’s changing more than just my schedule

One month ago, I’d be sitting hunched over on the edge of my bed, cracking open my second Celsius of the day around 10:40 p.m. This was my only way to get the energy to complete my homework after a day of 7 a.m. drill team practice, school and studio dance.

My life was strictly scheduled, making it hard for things like an impromptu Tropical Smoothie Cafe trip with my friends after school. Junior year has been packed with homework-filled all nighters, volunteering and more dance practice than you can imagine — but that’s what gives my life structure, keeping me on track and in shape. But now, with an enforced statewide quarantine, I suddenly have all the time in the world to fill days with family card games and an excessive amount of screen time.  

And to tell you the truth: I hate it. Granted, no one likes not being able to see their friends or compete at state for their spring sport. But transitioning from my previous lifestyle into days full of lounging is hurting both my mental and physical health.

I swear I’m not the same person anymore. Weeks into quarantine and the old, itching feeling of not wanting to sit still in class because I wanted to be up and moving has transformed into the desire to do nothing all day. 

I know I won’t get the sensation of busyness back in my life for a while. So until then, I’ve been looking for tasks in this new “normal” life that make me feel productive. From helping my sister with her cheer jumps or pulling a Marie Kondo in my bedroom —  it’s all proving harder than I’d anticipated.

According to Piedmont Healthcare, when someone carries out routine activities, it creates a preparedness that reduces stress by making the situation appear more controllable and predictable.

Mentally, I’m losing my mind. Without a routine, it’s hard to know what’s coming next. Even with the makeshift daily to-do list on my phone, it’s easy to skip those bullet points and push it back a day so I can keep scrolling through TikTok. My brain is scattered and I’m constantly feeling unproductive, which puts me in a mental slump. 

The nights I once spent doing conditioning until the mirrors turn foggy and practicing intricate jazz combos at the studio have been replaced by a constant cycle of fighting and making up with my siblings — you wouldn’t believe which one is more exhausting.

Being cooped up with my family has heightened my emotions. They seem to change each hour — part of the reason it’s so emotionally exhausting. I’m sad that I don’t get to talk about my day at school with my mom anymore. But I’m also getting angrier with every sibling-induced taunt over desserts I gave up for Lent and more annoyed with every unannounced room barge-in when they need me. 

I’ve had multiple days where I stay locked up in my room all day because I need a break from my family. In that time I’ve binged three seasons of “The Vampire Diaries” and read six books — which is more “productive” than I’ve been for most of the quarantine honestly. 

But to my defense, I’ve done almost everything you can think of. The deep cleaning of my room and closet was done in the first few days of quarantine. I’ve been completing my online homework within the first three days of it being assigned, even with my brain moving at negative 100 miles per hour — that’s how little I have to do. I can come up with as many things to do as I want, but that doesn’t bring back the structure I used to have in my life.

According to Piedmont Healthcare, when you reduce the number of decisions you have to make each day, you’ll tend to find a deeper sense of peace and relaxation within your mind and body.

Therefore each day, the same questions are bouncing around in my head — how do people live like this? Coming home after school and spending their weekends doing nothing but chill? How can anyone be content with this?

The only thing I have to base my day around is my online studio dance classes through Zoom. But since some classes from my typical schedule had to be cut, the work doesn’t sustain me anymore. I’m simply not getting the physical exercise I used to get every day.

I feel pressured to work on my own time so I’m not behind for when competition season resumes. But it’s hard to find that motivation when you can’t see your coaches or studio in person — especially when you’ve been sitting around for days, grazing your refrigerator when you inevitably get bored again.

I’m finding myself getting active in ways I wouldn’t have done a month ago. Walks around the neighborhood with my sister, TikTok ab challenges, I’ve even run on the dusty treadmill in our basement. 

It’s the small things that are filling the holes of the big things I lost due to quarantine. If it makes me smarter, cleaner, organized or sweaty, I’ll make a point to get to it. Keeping a sense of order in my life when my emotions and restlessness are wavering is how I can eventually return to the basis I long for. And, it means no impulsive decisions to dye my hair or pierce my ears.