Psyched for Psychics: A review of three online psychic services from Etsy

I’ve never been the type to carry crystals like tigers eye in my backpack when a chemistry exam is coming up or participate in witchcraft of any sort, like manifesting. so getting a psychic reading to “predict my future” never crossed my mind — especially getting it messaged to me on Etsy. 

I was initially skeptical about spending the money to hear my supposed fortune, until I found out they were all mostly under $5 for a basic reading. I started thinking that this was all just a scam — but if they robbed me and took my five dollars, it was going to be OK. Honestly it was the exact opposite of a scam — the psychics all messaged back in less than 24 hours and gave in-depth descriptions of the tarot cards.

The first two out of three psychics did their readings with tarot cards — cards that supposedly include glimpses into my future. 

Samantha Hayden  — the first psychic I bought from gave a one-card reading, and she pulled the king of wands.

The second psychic, Elizabeth, pulled six tarot cards — Justice, 3 of Pentacles, 5 of Cups, The Empress, 4 of Swords and The Sun. 

I was hoping these readings would apply the tarot card to my life more personally instead of them explaining what the card meant. The responses that they gave me could apply to anyone and I was underwhelmed about my readings. They were very broad, such as; “You need to plan to reach a goal that you’ve set” and “Something you’ve been working toward will turn out well.”

The cards they pulled were too vague and not a true psychic reading. I highly doubt I’m going to be receiving a wave of positivity coincidentally after purchasing these.

The last psychic I messaged was Psychic  Derrek, who only asked for my name, birthday and names of people in my life to tell my fortune, compared to the first two — who just pulled cards and didn’t need any answers to perform their reading. It made me feel weird giving my birthday because I didn’t see how it was relevant for the reading. He asked me to ask him three questions. The first two I asked could really be generalized for anyone; “Is anything going to happen with my family?” and, “Am I going to make any new friends?”

The first two answers were general responses of, “Your family is showing better times of synchrony” and “More connections with your current friends.” Though the answers were vague, I was trying to see how detailed he would be, but compared to the other two — his responses were more specific and individualized. 

In the last question, I asked what career I’ll go into, and his answer freaked me out. He told me that he sees strong synchronicities in the healthcare and medical field, which is a job field that I have always wanted to go into, but I’ve never thought that far about what I was going to do. 

So are these online psychic readings all really true?

As much as I would love to go on Etsy and pay $3 to know my future, I don’t believe it — I can’t see how pulling a card will decide my future and the idea of someone telling me what my life is going to be through a text message. Not that I wouldn’t buy one if I had a really strong desire too again, but Etsy should be a place to buy handmade jewelry — not a psychic reading.