Owen and Andrew: Over the course of 10 years, freshman Owen Wagstaff and sophomore Andrew Rhodes have developed a meaningful friendship through supporting each other in and out of school

Sitting in a crowd of parents, freshman Owen Wagstaff looked up at the scoreboard and saw that there were still three minutes left in sophomore Andrew Rhodes’ soccer game.

He was anxious for the game to be over, not so he could leave, but so that he could celebrate the team’s victory with his best friend. Once the game was finished, Owen darted across the field and sat right in the middle of the team’s post-game huddle. A wide smile spread across Andrew and his teammates’ faces when they saw Owen coming over. 

“I love when [Owen] is at my games,” Andrew said. “He’s my biggest fan and you can tell how happy he is to be there.”

After the team finished their huddle, Owen stood up and joined them as the team took their end-of-game bow, standing right next to Andrew — Andrew in his goalie jersey, Owen in his unified bowling uniform. Owen had a bowling meet right after the game, but he didn’t want to miss watching and celebrating the team’s victory with Andrew.

“Andrew has always included Owen ever since they met,” Owen’s mom Carrie Wagstaff said. “Owen used to do the bow at [his older sister] Regan’s games, and I worried about how [the team] would react the first time we went to one of [Andrew’s] games. But the team handled it beautifully.”

Andrew and Owen have been friends since kindergarten. Andrew saw Owen as the kid he would go to the Mission Hills street fair with and play at recess together with. He’s known from the beginning that Owen has Down Syndrome, but that’s never mattered to him. 

Andrew has always treated Owen like any other kid, according to Carrie. Andrew and Owen haven’t been in the same grade since kindergarten, but their friendship has still remained strong through doing little things outside of school like playdates at Taliaferro Park, annual birthday parties and brunches at First Watch.

A shared sense of supporting one another alongside moments filled with inclusion and learning from each other has made up their friendship for the last 10 years.

***

Then-8th-grader Owen stuffed clear bags in his kitchen with chocolate, Kit Kats and Starbursts. He’s gone “booing” — leaving bags of candy on his friends’ doorsteps — every fall around Halloween since first grade. Owen mostly boos his Belinder friends or other friends from school, but he always looks forward to booing Andrew the most. 

Pulling up to then-freshman Andrew’s house, Carrie waited in the car a few houses down the street as Owen grabbed the bag and ran up to Andrew’s house. He rang the doorbell, then sprinted behind a tree in Andrew’s front yard, peeking his head out to see how Andrew would react. 

“After he’d ring the doorbell, I look out the window and I can see him peeking behind the tree, which is always funny,” Andrew said. “Because he wasn’t the best at hiding [and] he wanted to see me when I came out.”

As Andrew opened the door, he acted surprised, yelling out “Who did this?” Owen laughed from behind the tree and then ran out to hug his friend. 

“Owen booing me is one of my favorite things he does,” Andrew said. “He’s been doing it for as long as I can remember and it’s fun to see how happy he is while doing it.”

***

Sitting at brunch during Andrew’s freshman year at First Watch, Andrew first heard about the Social Skills class — where students help neurodivergent peers with their social skills — from Carrie. So Andrew applied to be a Social Skills leadership student, and now the boys are in a class together again.

“[Social Skills] has made our friendship so much stronger,” Andrew said. “Being able to see him almost every day has made us closer and I love seeing him in class.”

Their friendship makes it easier for Owen to learn concepts in Social Skills class like personal space and introducing yourself to others, according to Social Skills teacher Emily MacNaughton. 

“It’s more comfortable for Owen to take on more challenging skills because Andrew knows him,” MacNaughton said. “He’s comfortable listening to Andrew. [He’s able to] have a support system to take on things that are more challenging.”

One of these challenging skills has been blowing his nose — something that Owen doesn’t like to do and something Andrew has been helping him with. One day in class, Owen stood up and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose. Andrew then gave him a high five, celebrating a new concept that they worked on together.

***

Carrie woke up to the blaring sound of a phone call early in the morning in the middle of January from the school district. Thinking that there was yet another snow day, she answered the phone.

This is Shawnee Mission School District food services. We’re calling to let you know that your child Owen Wagstaff’s lunch balance is low.

Carrie was confused. She had put $50 in Owen’s lunch account when he was in kindergarten and hadn’t touched it since — she usually packed his lunch. She also noticed that Owen wasn’t eating all of his lunch on days when he had Social Skills class. So she asked Andrew about it.

“It turned out that Owen had been buying pizza with Andrew at lunch,” Carrie said. “Which is a fun thing that [him] and Andrew get to do together that doesn’t involve me. It’s just being another high school student and getting pizza with a friend.”

Now, every Wednesday is pizza day. The two boys will go to the cafeteria and purchase slices of cheese pizza.

While telling the lunch lady what kind of pizza he wants, Andrew teaches Owen how to be polite — saying please and thank you and being patient while waiting in line. Andrew loves seeing how excited Owen gets after securing his pizza slice.

“[Owen] loves pizza,” Andrew said. “I’m sure if you asked him right now he’d say that pizza is his favorite food.”

***

“Andrew Rhodes!”

When walking in the hallway, Andrew can always tell where Owen is from his signature greeting. The two see each other at least once a day, and each encounter isn’t complete without Owen yelling Andrew’s first and last name with a smile on his face and giving him a hug. 

“Whenever I see [Owen], he’s always smiling and is so excited to see me,” Andrew said. “And I think being greeted with a smile and an embrace like that is just incredible. It makes me feel good. I think everyone needs a relationship like that, that’s strictly positive with nothing fake.”

Owen has helped Andrew appreciate the small things in life. Andrew watches how genuinely excited Owen gets about the things he loves. Whenever Owen sees a dog, he always points it out and shouts “Adorable!” Owen also loves the band R5, so Andrew always makes sure to play “Smile” and “All Night” when they’re in the car heading home from school or driving to the gym. 

“I’ve learned all of the words to ‘Smile’ from playing it so much with him,” Andrew said. “He’s so happy whenever I play their music.”

In return, Andrew has helped Owen become conscious of what he says and has helped him learn new things. Andrew encourages Owen to not make inappropriate comments or jokes while in Social Skills class. Carrie wants Owen to join a weights class at East next year, so Andrew has started taking him to go lift weights at the YMCA. 

While at the YMCA, Andrew teaches Owen how to properly lift weights — making sure to not slouch or give up when trying a new exercise. Owen used to dread going to lift weights, but since he started working out with Andrew, he now walks around the YMCA with a smile on his face. 

“It’s nice to introduce him to new things and to have a positive impact on one another,” Andrew said. “We both bring out the best in each other and we both get to have a great friend out of it, too.”