On the Hook: Online hookup culture presents dangers to teens and exploits their vulnerability

Swipe left. Swipe left. Wait… swipe right!

*You matched with Noah*

“Hi, what’s up?”

Deep breaths, don’t be nervous. Five minutes pass. Why aren’t they responding? Ten more minutes pass. It’s probably because I’m ugly. They must’ve accidentally swiped right on me. Why do I even—

“Hey ur cute, wanna meet up?”

This conversation, though seemingly innocent, can end very differently. They could end up like the 22% of dates arranged through a dating app that ended in sexual assault. Or the victims of sexual grooming when Tinder discovered more than 7% of their users were underage. Or the countless unreported cases of sexual assault as a result of dating apps. All starting with a simple right swipe.

Since their creation in the early 2010s, apps originally intended for meeting romantic partners have been increasingly utilized by high schoolers for casual sex and hooking up. In an Instagram poll of East students who use dating apps, 42% said that their primary intention for using dating apps was hooking up or casual sex, as compared to the 32% who used it for emotional validation and 26% who used it for meeting romantic partners. 

This rising culture of online dating and hookups among often underage high schoolers exploits the loneliness of already-vulnerable young people and traps them in cycles of low self-esteem and potential sexual violence.

This danger is close to home. 14% of East students in an Instagram poll of 145 said that they have used a dating app before. Nationally, 24% of teens who date — and 8% of all teens — reported dating or hooking up with someone they first met online, according to the Pew Research Center. And according to an article in the psychology journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, it’s only increased post-pandemic.

Dating apps can be appealing — where else can you meet hundreds of people with the same favorite movies and interests as you, with your desired appearance, curated by the algorithm to be your ideal partner? Despite the positives, dating apps remain a potent danger to teens. When large groups of vulnerable young people gather in one place online, they become easy targets for grooming and sexual violence.

Though most dating apps have 18+ age restrictions, they’re mainly only formalities to protect the app developers from legal trouble, and less for protecting users from danger. Many of the most-used apps — Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Grindr and more — only require a user to enter their “birthday,” which doesn’t stop teenagers from lying while using these platforms. 

Not all teens are affected equally either. Queer youth are more likely than their straight, cis peers to use dating apps because it expands the number of potential partners they could meet. A 2018 study of 219 U.S. 15-to-17-year-old teen boys who identified as gay, bisexual or questioning revealed that 70.3% used geosocial networking apps aimed at LGBTQ+ men. That’s young enough to be your sophomore classmates, potentially exposing them to unsafe situations with older, unknown men, both online and in-person.

It’s understandable that Tinder or Grindr is appealing to some when the gay dating pool at school is less than two or three. What’s less appealing, however, is the sexual assault and grooming that occurs on these apps. A Brigham Young University survey found that 14% of the 1,968 rapes committed by acquaintances occurred during an initial meetup arranged through a dating app — real-world consequences from online sites.

Another group targeted is young women. Already the primary victims of sexual harassment and assault, online dating exacerbates the too-prevalent issues that they face like harassing comments, physical violence and date rape. That seemingly innocent “Hey” after you match on Tinder could lead to much more unwanted and dangerous attention. Twice as many women than men on dating apps reported receiving unwanted explicit pictures or messages, according to a 2019 study by Statista. 

Sexual assault is alarming enough on its own, but it often also creates a lasting cycle by diminishing the self-esteem of young, vulnerable people. Just one instance of sexual assault has the potential to snowball: wanting to prove that you’re more than what happened to you by searching out more relationships, but continuing to get hurt.

And all of this is not to mention the lasting effects on future relationships. Dating online presents its own set of consequences to teens specifically, as this artificial connection during their formative years completely reshapes their view of love, connection and sex. When you learn relationship skills like communication and connection from your Tinder friend-with-benefits 10 years older than you, your sense of normalcy in romantic relationships becomes flawed before you get the chance to have a typical in-person relationship. 

Teens on dating apps are inevitable — with rapid improvements in technology and social media, eliminating online dating altogether just isn’t realistic. If this is truly the future of dating, let’s build a supportive and safe future by informing dating app users about the dangers and empowering affected people to come forward when they witness or experience it.