On My Own: Being alone in the house allows for space to grow and become independent

My older brother’s room was always messy beyond belief. Clean and dirty laundry, cleats and lacrosse bags covered his scratchy carpet that hadn’t been vacuumed in who knows how long. He always forgot to bring towels back to our shared bathroom — my 14-year-old self had to go collect them from his bedroom floor myself.

Aug. 22, 2019 was the first day I remember seeing his room perfectly clean. He’d packed away the laundry and taken it off to college, leaving me with a squeaky clean — and empty — bathroom. And while I thought his move to college and this new clean lifestyle would have me thrilled, I was left feeling lost.

As for my older sister, I’ve idolized her responsibility and determination for as long as I can remember. When she quit dancing to start cheering, I followed in her footsteps years later. I admired how she always tried to include me, whether it was playing Barbies or taking me out to get our nails done with her friends. She left for college when I was in fifth grade. Sure, I enjoyed stealing clothes from her closet after she left, but her leaving was harder on me that I’d like to admit.

My siblings shaped who I was as a person. I adapted my personality to theirs, becoming outgoing like my sister and cracking the same jokes as my brother. Who would I be without them?

As I grew up, I learned to appreciate being alone and leaned into the newfound time by myself. Instead of having a sibling to help me with my chemistry homework, I’d set firm deadlines and figure it out myself. I didn’t need my siblings to tell me which classes I should take in high school or which extracurriculars to stay involved in. I ventured into areas they never did. 

Being alone in the house has given me the time and space needed to figure out who I am. I don’t have my siblings here to constantly make fun of me for watching “The Office” for the 15th time or laugh at my horrible parking job on display in the driveway. I’m not constantly trying to follow my brother and his friends around or try to impress my sister’s friends with how good my singing is. 

I no longer seek their approval.

If my siblings were still in the house, I probably would’ve taken that AP Physics class and not quit lacrosse. Without them in the house, I realized that I don’t need to emulate Katie or Bobby. I pushed myself in new directions, pursuing journalism and becoming cheer captain.

Children without siblings are self-entertainers and often tend to be the most creative, according to parents.com. They’re confident, well-spoken, pay attention to detail and tend to do well in school. Even though I’m technically not an only child, I’ve taken on these strengths that come from being the only one in the house.

I have the social skills to interact with new people, but I also have no issue spending a night alone watching Netflix or organizing my room. I have the confidence to ask about my difficult math homework or call out cheers in front of a large student section. With all the attention in the house on me, I make sure to double-check my tests to make sure my grade is the best it can be. I may not have been able to discover these skills if it weren’t for my siblings being off at college.

Throughout my newfound alone time, I’ve become more independent. I don’t have my siblings to remind me about important events or help me with my chores — I hold myself accountable. Without distractions in my house, I can focus on my goals. I can raise my chemistry grade to beat my sister’s, try to master InDesign or make my toe touch higher.

The social interaction I lack in my house has made me more outgoing when I’m meeting new people. I’m always alone in my house, so I’ve become more open-minded when meeting people and I’m happier to surround myself with unfamiliar faces. 

I don’t have my siblings to entertain me anymore, so I entertain myself.

As they went off to college, not only did my personality develop but our relationship grew stronger. We bickered a lot as children, but now that they’re gone, it makes it more rewarding when I see them on holidays. I love dishing out the latest gossip to my sister and having a full conversation with my brother without arguing. I don’t feel the need to impress them every time I see them and I’ve developed my own interests. None of this would’ve been possible if I wouldn’t have been an honorary “only child.”