Not My Irish Wish: Netflix’s new movie “Irish Wish” does not live up to the expectations of other classic romantic comedies

If you’re looking to watch Lindsay Lohan in a new movie trying to prove that she can rejoin the world of acting and make a comeback — like I was — the movie “Irish Wish” is not for you.

Netflix’s new movie “Irish Wish” tells the story of a woman named Maddie, played by Lohan, who’s in love with the famous author she edits for, Paul Kennedy, played by Alexander Vlahos. To Maddie’s dismay, he ends up getting engaged to her best friend and becomes a bridesmaid at their wedding in Ireland.

I wish I could say that Maddie was a good friend and set her feelings aside so her friends could get married in peace, but unfortunately I can’t.

While in Ireland, Maddie makes a mystical wish to Saint Brigid that she was marrying Paul instead of her friend — an epic violation of girl code if you ask me.

After making her wish, Maddie is transported to an alternate reality in which she marries Paul instead of her best friend. The moment she sees what was supposed to be her best friend’s ring on her finger, she screams and begins aiding in the wedding preparation.

Although Maddie saw Paul as her dream man, the movie never gave me any reason to like him. Every single scene that involved his character made me want to poke my eyes out. His whole personality revolves around being a selfish jerk who stole Maddie’s writing and put his name on it. But he gaslights everyone into thinking he’s kind and charismatic. Yeah, a real gentleman.

But what would a romantic comedy be without the mysterious and handsome stranger who sweeps the protagonist off her feet.

Once Maddie reaches Ireland, James Thomas, played by Ed Speleers, is introduced as Maddie’s wedding photographer and her second love interest. Their relationship is supposed to be an enemies to lovers trope, but I think the writers chose to give up on this dynamic halfway through the movie. 

However, this might’ve been for the best because the scenes where Maddie and James were supposed to be fighting were a hot mess. When they first met in the airport, Maddie confused her bag with James’s, but wouldn’t admit that she was wrong. After about a minute of fighting over the bag, the suitcase burst open all over the airport.

I am a sucker for a delightfully cringy rom com, but this was next level. I often had to pause the movie in order to get over my second-hand embarrassment.

After too many squirmworthy scenes, she realizes that she’s not truly in love with Paul, but that her heart instead belongs to James — big shocker.

So she confronts Saint Brigid again and tells her that she wants her old life back. Maddie is then transported back to her normal life and meets up with Paul. However, he doesn’t remember anything that happened in the alternate reality, so he still sees her as the annoying woman who tried to steal his luggage. The writers just chose to ignore this huge plot point and show that he was in love with her the whole time.

Overall, I truly don’t understand how the script of this movie was approved. If I had a dollar for every time that Maddie would say “I’m marrying Paul Kennedy” out of the blue, I would be a billionaire. Yes, I am aware, Maddie. I’ve been watching the movie.

As a devoted “Mean Girls” and “The Parent Trap” fan, I found Lohan’s performance disappointing and if I could make an Irish wish, I would wish for Netflix to hire new writers.