My Decision, Not Yours: Where you choose to go to college should not be influence by your friends’ and classmates’ opinions

It begins with sitting in your freshman year advisory class when the teacher assigns you to fill out what college you want to go to on Xello. Innocent comments of, “Oh I would never go there” start to come out of 14-year-olds’ mouths. Jumping to senior year, those comments start to increase — particularly when you’re in the same class filling out your common application.  

If we’ve spent our high school careers working to get into our dream schools, then the last factor that anyone should consider when applying to college is their friends’ opinions. This is challenging when friends feel entitled to comment on your intended college, post-graduation plans or reach schools — as if another person has the exact right idea for you just because it may be a good fit for them.

It seems the two basic college routes are split between the kids who have always wanted to attend nearby state schools and those who are already buying flights to the other side of the country. But the most prominent group are the kids in the middle who have no idea what they want or where they want to go. I still don’t know where I want to go to school, and every day I feel the pressure of deciding when I see my friends already looking for roommates. 

Other students’ advice can provide clarity when it comes to the stress of schools and applications. For example, my friend who had already started applying to colleges helped me land on a topic for my college essay. 

What’s not helpful is when your friends shove their opinions down your throat, shaming you for choosing a different path with critical comments like, “Really, you want to go there?” When it comes to college, everyone’s situation is unique — whether they choose college based on distance, programs, size or tuition, so it doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to one another. 

While it’s obviously cheaper to go in-state, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apply to your dream school. Some people feel inclined to move out of the midwest and shoot for their dream school which is OK, because it’s the best decision for them in the end. 

Everyone has different financial situations, and I don’t need to bank my college decisions on a high school senior’s thoughts. In-state schools may be an amazing option for you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s my ideal option.

Even if I did want to go in-state, someone will say I’m taking the easy route because I “went through all that hard work for nothing” Not everyone has always dreamed of attending a big-name university, only to rack up thousands in student loans. 

Think about a friend having their dream school as the University of Kansas. While you may think KU being your last option is a flex, bragging about it is rude. No one should be made to feel bad about their decision, no matter if it’s in or out-of-state. 

Whether it’s an excessive amount of extracurriculars or a rigorous course schedule, we’ve all been working throughout high school to go where we wanted. So how do you think your peers feel when you shame them about their decisions? 

When you make snide remarks about decisions that others are excited about, you only isolate yourself — they’ll avoid sharing their life with you.

It seems like everyone makes applying to colleges a competition. Whether it is getting into Harvard or being a legacy at KU, superiority complexes are bound to come out. In the end, it’s better to be supportive than it is to be “superior.”