It was a hot July afternoon when I opened Instagram to find a bald, Romanian kickboxer was scattered through my feed — Andrew Tate. One quick click pulled up a video of the self-proclaimed “nice guy” on a rant:
“How are women allowed to drive? A man is good enough at driving to know he’s not a good driver, but women are such bad drivers, they genuinely think they’re OK.”
I was horrified.
The more I looked into him, the worse it got. He became known as “the king of toxic masculinity” throughout his fan base by preaching his misogynistic views to impressionable teenagers.
As aggressive influences continue to spread their views on social media, teens need to grow an awareness of the underlying message of the content they absorb, as well as how those words might affect others before adopting a set of beliefs themselves. Oftentimes, listening and truly hearing another point of view before speaking is the most effective.
Why would a man disrespecting women be considered not only funny but also intelligent? I was unable to wrap my head around how verbally abusing others would “bring masculinity back,” — quite frankly, I didn’t see the need to, as masculinity seems to be perfectly intact. The longer I spent scrolling through his videos, the more I started to feel overwhelming anger, shame and frustrated curiosity.
Eventually, I began texting my guy friends, searching for some sort of reasoning. Responses ranged from, “You really think I’m that type of guy?” to “He’s f****** hilarious.” I felt the needles in my cheeks as I began to tear up from frustration.
Is this really how some people view me, just because I’m a girl?
Young men are taught each day through the media that this is acceptable behavior. The societal norms surrounding masculinity teach boys that without assertion, an inflated ego and being the wittiest in the room, they will be seen as lesser of a man. They are taught to believe that popularity is more important than empathy.
This pressure is being pushed on kids and teens by a fully grown adult. Tate uses predatory tendencies as a business model. He dates younger women— claiming that they’re easier to imprint upon. He feeds younger men lies about what they must be to become elite — have an overflow of money, being in control of everything around them and own and protect women.
Fortunately, Meta, the company which owns both Facebook and Instagram decided this past week to remove Tate from their platforms, announcing that hate will not be tolerated. TikTok quickly did the same, the morning of Aug. 22, releasing a statement, announcing that hateful content will not be tolerated.
When an individual, like Tate, is actively harming others it’s justified to remove that person from the platform they’re using to do so. While some might argue that Andrew Tate has the right to speak freely on whichever topic he chooses, the lack of his presence on social media has been like a breath of fresh air. His constant speeches declaring his own excellence were off-putting and oftentimes offensive.
Although there is no longer the same extreme and overwhelming pressure from Andrew Tate to be overly masculine, or for women to stay at home to cook while being labeled as “incompetent,” the damage has already been done. There are many others who view gender roles in the same, twisted way. As a generation, we need to create a space that is safe for all individuals to be as they are. To do this, we can all begin to listen before we speak, and choose empathy over popularity.