At the end of my sophomore year I met with my Head Photo Editors to ask if I had any chance of scoring an Assistant Photo Editor position next year.
I left with a smile on my face. I was almost certain this promotion was going to happen and I was going to achieve my biggest high school dream. The night of the Harbinger banquet I sat patiently awaiting my big moment.
I listened as my now-retired editors read off staffers’ new positions.
“Caroline Martucci: Assistant Photo Editor. Amelie Wong: Assistant Photo Editor. Clara Peters: Assistant Photo Editor. Molly Miller: Photo Mentor.”
Oh.
Tears rolling down my face, I sat, completely destroyed. Insecurities raced through my mind as I questioned why I wasn’t good enough. Each deep breath felt like salt in a wound as I sat, wondering what more I could’ve possibly done.
Returning to the journalism room my junior year, I had to prove the editors wrong. I knew I was good enough. I spent countless hours shooting girls soccer galleries, taking mugs on the fifth floor main staircase and pulling students from classes for caption interviews. I even helped coordinate the series of images found in the ramp halls.
I was told “good job” by Tate for the first time — a rare occurrence in general — so I knew my effort was paying off. So, when May rolled around, I typed up an application one last time.
At the banquet that year, over the same classic pasta and lemonade from last year, when I heard “Molly Miller: Head Print Photo Editor,” it was all worth it.
I walked into the J-Room the following August with a feeling unlike ever before. With every photostory, caption and gallery, I understood what I’d been missing the whole time — I didn’t believe in myself or what I was capable of producing.
But the switch flipped in my mind. I watched as my photostories grew stronger throughout the year, my abilities to use the pen tool in InDesign improved and my connections with staffers became tighter.
My work is now something I’m truly proud of. My Head Print Photo Editor position is my varsity letter, my state medal and my scholarships.
I’ll always look out for the photographers sitting in the back tables in the J-Room, silently submitting an application for Assistant Photo Editor. They have my passion, and I'll always try to recognize that.
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