I’ve waited three years to experience the glorified condition that is “senioritis.” Now that my senior year has finally arrived, I’ve been given a pandemic and a schedule that makes it all too easy to lose motivation.
In these uncertain times, it’s impossible to obtain any sort of consistency — especially when school’s format is constantly changing.
Just as I got used to waking up at 7:35 a.m. to open my computer and check in to first hour
from my bed, it was back to rushing into the East parking lot just in time for the minute-music to start playing.
Initially, I was thrilled that I’d actually be getting a shot at experiencing my final year of high school in person. Now that I see my teachers only once a week in-person when I get a week’s worth of assignments, I’m realizing my preference of online learning.
When we were given the option of virtual or hybrid schooling, I selected the hybrid learning model, trying desperately to salvage what was left of my final time at East. But now the unbalanced schedule and the inconsistency wear me out. This school year has felt so unimportant with the pandemic and the uncertainty of learning doesn’t give me confidence that I’ll retain anything about poetry analysis in my AP English class.
Online school was my worst enemy at first, considering how last year’s fourth quarter went, now I can’t wait to get back to a learning model that that offers consistency where I can be productive five days a week. While I’ll miss being able to see my friends and teachers, I can’t be the first to admit it’s simply not realistic to be in school right now.
I assumed that being in-person would give me more motivation to study for tests and remind me of what school feels like, inspiring me to do my best work. Now I consider myself lucky if I get my assignments submitted seconds before the 11:59 p.m. deadline.
The district has claimed learning in-person is the best way for students to learn material, but the fact that we’re constantly dealing with abrupt transitions from in-person to online each week only makes it harder to learn.
It’s incredibly hard to readjust every few days and get into a productive rhythm, even though every single week feels like a carbon copy of the one before. It’s the same repeated, dreadful existence each student is forced to live over and over. The exhausting repetition doesn’t stimulate me in the slightest to do my work, especially when it feels like all we’ve been doing this year is attending Webex calls where WiFi cuts every two seconds.
I’ve wondered if I just have a bad case of senioritis, but I’ve found that my lack of motivation doesn’t come from the feeling of being steps away from graduation, but instead the mentality that school is meaningless and unimportant. And the seniors can’t be the only ones suffering from this unmotivated state with school now feeling like an afterthought, instead of something that my life revolved around and gave me balance.
If students were in-person full-time, I think the motivation would be present, like the district claims — but that won’t happen anytime soon. Even though online school has a more consistent schedule, it has its own flaws with motivation.
At the beginning of this year year, I could be awake and caffeinated at 7:00 a.m. with a fulfilling breakfast, nice cup of coffee and sitting at my desk — ready to jot down my “probability” notes in my AP Stats Webex. My current online routine involves me getting up at 7:37 a.m., still under my covers as I log onto my first first-hour math class.
This year isn’t turning out the way anyone wanted, and from a health perspective, it’s simply not possible for everyone to have the year they wanted or at least expected.
I understand it’s ideal for everyone’s mental health to be in school to see their friends and for teachers to see their students, but I can’t think of anyone who could honestly say this constant switch between learning methods has been effective.