March Meltdown: A review of three March-themed fast food drinks

There’s no better way to pay homage to March, the month of leprechauns and pots of gold, than to try three green, signature March drinks from popular fast food chains. 

Located all within a 3-mile radius, I made a stop at McDonald’s, Sonic and Starbucks to try their spring beverages: the classic Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s, a Limeade Slush made by Sonic and a Starbucks’ Iced Lavender Cream Oatmilk Matcha.

McDonald’s, home of the infamous Shamrock Shake, was my first stop on the green drink tour, and to avoid a lengthy essay, let’s just say I was disappointed.

The Shake, according to the McDonald’s website, features vanilla soft serve, corn syrup and a garnish of whipped cream swirled on top. I took my first sip of the electric green drink, and my initial, raw reaction was “ew.”

It cost a whopping $5.03. McDonald’s is supposed to be the haven of $1 fries and burgers, not overpriced, sugary, melted ice cream. The Shamrock Shake could only be described as a melted key lime pie with an extra 25 pumps of sugary syrup topped off with a glob of overly-sweet whipped cream. The Shamrock Shake utterly failed at tasting like a key lime pie.

If that wasn’t enough to make your stomach churn, the drink was made in maybe five seconds, and that’s being generous. I’d just finished putting my credit card back into my phone case when the worker handed me the Shamrock Shake. No quality drink could possibly be put together in that amount of time. Yes, fast food restaurants should be speedy, however, it still takes time to put together a quality shake.

To make matters worse, the shake was a color that no company could manufacture without a hefty helping of food dye. It nearly blinded my eyes to look at the electric color of the drink.

With clearly artificial color and taste, the Shamrock Shake is a drink to be avoided at all costs.

After my harrowing experience at McDonald’s, I was ready for a redemption drink, and Sonic delivered. The Limeade Slush was everything I wanted and more — a strong flavor, refreshingly cool temperature and a delicious aftertaste.

It was my first time ordering at Sonic, and the old-school pull-up restaurant was a fun touch to the overall experience.

Initially it was very sour, and I was scared it would be too much to finish the drink. However, the sourness became more addicting as I drank the Slush and became used to the taste. According to the Sonic website, the beverage is made with real, freshly squeezed limes. I don’t buy that Sonic is really using limes — there’s no way employees are in the back getting juice from the fruits.

The lime’s tart taste reminded me of Minute Maid Soft Frozen Lemonade cups that are usually found at zoos and carnivals. These lemonade cups are one of my favorite parts of summer, so Sonic’s Slush brought me right back to many nostalgic memories at the pool and Theater in the Park. 

The Limeade drink is a must-try item at Sonic and an even better celebratory March drink. 

I can always count on the Starbucks matcha to be a perfect drink for any moment — a morning pick-me-up or an afternoon refresh. So when I saw that Starbucks had released an Iced Lavender Cream Oatmilk Matcha for a limited time, I was ecstatic. 

The presentation of a foamy, lavender-purple layer and classic matcha-green drink was flawless, but that’s about where the compliments end. The first sip was purely bubbly foam. Although I do enjoy the different texture and unique lavender taste, I wanted matcha — not bubbles.

So I kept on sipping to reach the matcha that I’ve grown to adore. Spoiler alert: it tasted like grass. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a strong grassy Starbucks matcha that isn’t pumped full of sweet syrup, but the Lavender Cream Matcha tasted like it was sourced straight from my backyard. This matcha was nothing like my tried-and-true drink.

Already disappointed with the powerful taste, I was jarred by the color of the Lavender Cream Matcha. Instead of a classic dark green I was met with a disgusting shade of green-brown. If I’m going to be drinking grass water, Starbucks could at least not make it look like dirt.

The aesthetics and taste of the Lavender Cream Matcha were highly frustrating and discredited Starbucks’ matcha. Next time, I’ll stick with my iced chai.

Although celebrating March with well-earned fast food beverages was festive and entertaining, it’s better to spare a total of $10.98 and skip the Shamrock Shake and Lavender Cream Matcha. Instead treat yourself to a tart Limeade Slush.