Laying the Blueprint: Making children feel comfortable in a daycare or babysitting setting is important because of the lasting impact it can have on a child’s openness

I sat down criss-cross applesauce, white plastic cup full of Froot Loops in hand, all alone. I kept to myself until it was time to go home, back turned to the other block-building toddlers.

As a kid, daycare felt incredibly lonely. I always depended on my parents for someone to trail behind and cling to, so being apart from them felt like I’d be left there for the rest of my life.

Though it’s been 10 years since I’ve sat on that colorful carpet, I can still vividly remember the high school girls that worked there — they seemed 10 times my size back then. They would slowly circle the room, towering over the kids, but never squatting down to our level. I wish one of them would’ve sat down and talked to me. 

That’s why every Tuesday at my daycare job I settle in my dark brown stained wooden chair and wait for the next kid I’ll take care of for the next hour to walk through the creaky child-gate.

I told myself that I would be a role model for younger kids back when I was 8 years old — I looked up to the 6th graders who worked with us every week knowing someday I wanted to be exactly like them. I wanted to be the one reading to a 1st grader and helping them sound out words. Now, I get to be the caretaker and bond with the kids I work with.

When I got an offer to work in a daycare this year, the description was to look after kids while their parents either went to the gym or ordered dinner. I was thrilled. My main priority is to positively impact the kids, even if it’s only for 15 minutes of playing with Legos together. I want the children to want to come back. I love seeing the same faces — and new ones — return each week.

While walking in, kids are usually attached to the hip of their parent until they leave, which is why I always greet kids by asking them what they want to do. You want to play a game of hot lava using foam mats? So be it. Or if they just want to color quietly at a table, I’m equally enthused.

By listening to the children and supporting their activity of choice, caretakers can help kids feel safe and heard. Sitting down and listening to them babble about their elementary school drama of who’s wearing pink for the week and who’s wearing black is my favorite part of the 3-hour shift. When a kid has someone who will listen to them, they open up.

We usually talk about simple things — where they go to school, their favorite colors or the yummiest snack because asking for too much can confuse children and even frustrate them.

Some kids prefer not to chat, and it’s important to respect that because being in a new place with a stranger can be extremely intimidating. Instead of forcing a conversation, I sit by them as they stay busy coloring or playing on their iPads. If the moment comes where they do want to talk, I listen. If it doesn’t come, I have no problem sitting in silence and simply watching them.

If a kid ever seems to feel unwelcome — I try to warm up to them by starting with a simple “hi,” which can go a long way. There can be a group of three kids or up to ten, in these situations I try to come up with a game for all of us to play. 

Working in a daycare is not as simple as some may think — sitting on your phone and glancing up every once in a while is not an option. Disciplining a kid can be tricky, and excessive time-outs or anger can result in them fearing me or retreating to the corner of the room. To avoid this response, caretakers should keep their voice at a low volume and explain why they shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. 

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced while working in a daycare is when kids miss their parents, sometimes even crying because they’re worried they’ll never see mom again. Reassurance is incredibly vital when it comes to missing a parent due to the attachment that comes with being young. A compassionate reminder that their parent will return soon helps, along with a gentle nudge to play against me in bowling or watch an episode of “Alvin and the Chipmunks” to redirect their mind.

Although working with kids has its stressful moments, like when siblings start scratching at each other, the spit-ups and temper-tantrums are worth it for a chance to see them happy, and the fulfillment that comes with that.

Kids are adjusting to new people and places every day. Making them feel like they belong is a caretaker’s job and can shape their personality for the rest of their life.