It’s Time We Have the Talk: Why High Schoolers Need More than Abstinence Based Sex Education

Let’s talk about the talk — yes, I am referring that talk. East has an abstinence- based sex education program, like many schools in the U.S. They preach the whole “don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die” type of thing, straight out of “Mean Girls.”

But there’s a reason the talk is something we need to be having — abstinence sex education programs have issues. They force teenagers to turn to their friends, experienced or not, with questions that can lead to misconceptions — which is exactly what happens in the Netflix original, “Sex Ed.”

With “Sex Ed” focusing on a student, Otis,  who becomes a sex therapist to his classmates who have been failed by their education, this is the perfect gateway to finally have the talk at East.

Although Otis was trying his best to help, a student should never have to to turn to a virgin or a friend with their sex problems. Instead, we should be taught how to deal with them. At our expense, adults are failing to teach us how to practice safe sex simply because they don’t want to deal with it. Instead, we are turning to friends and being given wrong information.

According to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, as of 2015, Kansas’ statewide curriculum includes “a complete program of abstinence until marriage in human sexuality that is developmentally appropriate, including information about sexually transmitted diseases, especially HIV/AIDS.”

This is confirmation that adults are choosing to ignore the fact that teenagers will have sex and that by simply saying “don’t have sex until marriage” that teens won’t.

As if teenagers are known for following orders perfectly from adults. Yeah, right.

According to an article from Forbes magazine, between 2002 and 2014, the number of schools requiring the study of sexuality fell 19 percent leaving out sex education completely from the LGBTQ community, depriving them of information that their peers.  

Required HIV prevention education dropped 26 percent, proven by the fact that I don’t completely know what HIV is other than what I’ve been told — that it’s simply a bad STD. Maybe if I knew more about it I would be better able to protect myself against it. Also, the number of students who reported having some form of education about birth control has fallen close to 25 percent since the mid 90’s, yet it’s still considered shameful when teen girls are pregnant when we aren’t even educated on pregnancy prevention.

And while these numbers may seem arbitrary, I can say that my experiences with sex education have involved filling out anatomy charts, watching videos about the exciting world of puberty entitled “Let’s Just Talk” or “Just Around the Corner” and a discussion about a baby’s life inside the womb — not how to practice safe sex or how to get access to birth control. I learned more from the American Girl book “The Keeping and Caring of You” than than any class offered to me.  

According to an article in the Daily Dot, as of 2018, 19 states aren’t even required to tell students about condoms. It’s constantly pointed out that abstinence is the only true way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, but this won’t convince or deter many teens from having sex. Many teens don’t know how to even use condoms, which can lead to STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea or even a major oops: baby.

And I don’t blame some of you for not wanting to suffer through the awkwardness of health at school.  

I get why you would want to ask your friend for advice about your S.O., it’s normal. I’ve even done it before when wanting to know what I should text a guy next — an “lol” or “haha.” But when it comes to asking for advice on how to lose your card — and I’m not talking about your credit card, there can be mix-ups.

Sex is different for everyone. Just because something works for your friend, does not mean it will work for you. A friend may even pressure you into taking steps you’re not ready for when you don’t want to — sometimes it’s just best to not ask your bestie to fix your sex issues, and instead turn to an educated professional.

Adults want to ignore the fact that teenagers have “raging” hormones and that we aren’t going to want to have sex with someone in our life and that — gasp — it might   be before marriage. Our elders are failing us by failing to educate us. Take drinking and driving: adults always warn kids not to drink and drive, but they still teach us how to drive. No adult would ever not tell their child about a seat belt because it wouldn’t be safe. So why should sex education be any different?