Ill-Conceived Identities: Social media trends are harmful to teen identity development

The existential question, “Who am I?” that teenagers are faced with as they transition from childhood to adulthood is an idea that Indie coming-of-age movies and books have centered around to gain massive audiences.

All of the most popular teen movies like “Perks of Being a Wallflower” and “Ladybird” follow the plot of teens taking on new identities and getting out of their comfort zone with their friends to find who they truly are. But those movies are set in a time when the pressures of social media didn’t exist for a reason. 

Social media has transformed the process of teenagers finding their place in the world into a path of trying out new trends and copying influencers’ personas until they find one they think people will like. As corny as it may sound, searching for yourself in the people or groups you see on social media isn’t “finding yourself” — you need to look within for that.

While social media can be a place of self-expression and creativity, there’s also been an overall trend in recent years of people wanting to belong to a certain group online, whether by associating with others through aesthetics, astrological signs, political opinions, music tastes, mental issues or a shared love of certain celebrities.

A great friendship can start from sharing similar interests, but when people adopt entirely new personalities to fit the mold of a certain persona, they lose their individuality. We’ve seen this happen throughout the years as trends come and go — from every teenage girl adopting the aesthetic of a “VSCO girl” to boys being respectful to women being called a ‘simp’ since that phrase blew up on Tik Tok.

TikTokers love to describe themselves using labels like their astrological signs or “bruh girl,” but you shouldn’t define who you are in a single label, as it confines you to a specific way of acting and doesn’t leave room for originality, going against the point of finding yourself.

These labels may seem appealing because it can make us feel safe to be part of a group, but they’re restrictive to the process of learning about yourself as an individual. Finding who you are shouldn’t entail copying others — it should be about trying new things like sports or activities that peak your interest until you find what fits you. 

So instead of seeing and copying personalities and styles from celebrities, do some soul-searching away from the screen. There are countless ways to go about finding your identity, from traveling to reading to introspection. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to it, but the important thing is to make sure you’re exploring what feels right to you.

Instead of buying outfits from a famous TikToker’s trendy wardrobe, do some of your own shopping and figure out what clothes you like — your style doesn’t need to be a certain “aesthetic.” You don’t need to copy the way an influencer acts, just be you and learn to feel comfortable as yourself.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. Often times young people think the “real them” isn’t good enough, which is the reason we are so inclined to directly copy others or completely base their personality on an influencer instead of just being themselves.

This lack of self-esteem combined with constant exposure to everyone’s “perfect” versions of themselves on Instagram can make us feel envious of others every time we get on social media, and often we’re not even aware of it. When we scroll through our feed or For You Page and see a cute outfit or aspect of someone that we admire, we want that quality for ourselves and internally feel “less than” because we don’t have it.

But, if there’s one thing that Disney Channel Original Movies have ingrained in our brains, it’s the message that trying to be someone you’re not won’t last. If you’re constantly following the lead of one social media influencer or flipping from one aesthetic to another, then there isn’t a stable foundation for your sense of self. 

Remember that your virtual self is not your real self, so you shouldn’t focus on exploring who you could be online and let that change who you are. Instead, find your identity in real world experiences and be okay with not knowing the answer to “Who am I?” just because someone else on Instagram seems to have it figured out — because they probably don’t.