How To Be A Good Santa: The do’s and don’ts of gift getting

No matter the holiday function, there’s always that one auntie who finds a way to tarnish the idea of Christmas magic with an itchy sweater or the dreaded pair of socks. If you’re looking for ways to up your gift-giving game, here’s a how-to of how-NOT-to be the bad gift giver this holiday season — whether it’s for a teenage boy or your mother.

First up:

Don’ts

• Clothes that aren’t specifically asked for. This may be surprising, but chances are your teenager will either dislike the color, fit or style of the “cute” shirt you buy her. While she may plaster on a smile and accept it graciously, that hideous article of clothing is going to end up at Goodwill — or worse, the depths of her closet, never to be seen again. 
• Makeup. Girls are pretty picky in what makeup they wear, and definitely like to pick out their own products. That cheap eyeshadow palette you bought her three years ago probably has never been used and is stuffed in the back of her vanity.

Do’s

• It’s safe to say that most girls love to shop. Gift cards are a great choice: Nordstrom, Revolve, Lululemon, Urban Outfitters, Sephora and Ulta are my top recommendations. It’s better to buy gift cards to department stores or those with a wide range of styles to avoid anything too niche, like small boutiques or stores selling only a certain style of clothing — unless you know she likes that store. 
• Candles or room decorations are a definite yes. Girls love their bedrooms, and anything decorative to spice up their room and match their personality will certainly be appreciated. Plants, mirrors and jewelry displays or boxes are fabulous ideas.  
• Film cameras like Fuji Film are a great choice, but reusable options like Polaroids or Kodaks are even better. Early 2000s digital cameras are all the rage as well. Sure, these can be a bit of an investment, but she will absolutely love it, and use it at every party and vacation to capture her best moments from now on.

Teenage Boys

Don’ts 

• Please, I’m begging you, do NOT buy your teenage boy gadgets or toys. That includes remote control cars, sports balls, a scooter or anything in that category. You know it’s going straight into those donation bins or spending an eternity in a storage box. He’s not 10 years old anymore. 
• Books. Let’s be honest, he probably hasn’t read a book since 5th grade, why would he start now? I promise he does not care about the latest New York Times Bestseller. 

Do’s 

• Money: most boys simply want money for food and outings, but a wad of cash may feel a little impersonal. Gift cards work well again, but make sure it’s something versatile, like a visa or amazon gift card. 
• Clothes: men are not ones to shop, and it seems like they’re constantly in need of clothes. Clothes from places like Carhartt, Nike, Abercrombie and Fitch or Lululemon are much appreciated, and usually put to good use. It’s best to opt for something basic, so you know it will go with all of their three outfits. Gift cards might not work here, as there is a pretty low incentive to go shopping, and unlike with girls, it’s best if you just make the decision for them. 
• Something practical: A nice water bottle is always a safe bet. Whether they use it for the gym, car or school, a Yeti or a Hydro Flask will be put to use. Chargers are obviously very practical, and you can never have enough. Bonus points for portable chargers! 

Next up: Mom and Pop

Don’ts

• Don’t buy them anything they could buy themselves: clothes, jewelry (unless it’s homemade, of course) or accessories. Moms love to shop, and chances are, if they want something, they already have it. 
• Don’t buy your mom a cookbook. She may crack it open once but it’ll inevitably collect dust on the kitchen shelf. Plus, you never want to do anything that could insult her cooking.

Do’s 

• Experiences: massages, pedicures and facials are great options. Our mothers work overtime for us, and deserve some relaxation. All they really want is quality time with you, so taking her out to lunch or dinner or seeing a movie are all great options. 
• Things that smell nice and look pretty: Orchid flowers are my go-to, as they’re beautiful, last long and a bit of an investment. Pleasantly scented candles are always a good idea — my mom seems to be burning a candle everyday.
• Charcuterie: Charcuterie board supplies are a creative step-up from a basic cookbook. There are plenty of instructional and inspirational books out there, and you can combine it with a personalized or unique charcuterie board along with utensils, tools and cheese or crackers.

Don’ts 

• Cooking supplies. Just don’t do it, chances are he has a collection of Barbeque tools stuffed away in your pantry already from the countless corporate and housewarming gifts — like that one cheese knife that sat next to the fancy champagne for years.
• Ties. Come on, this is just too basic. 

Do’s

• Merch from his college or favorite sports team. Like boys, Dads don’t shop for themselves much, so they need some help from us. Make it extra special with vintage or limited edition styles, which are easily found on resale sites like Ebay or Poshmark. 
• Dads love to feel connected to our generation, and will appreciate a playlist made for them on Spotify or Apple Music, especially if it has some of his favorite songs on it. 
• Sporting gear: If your dad likes to play golf, he will like anything from a cool visor to a golf club cover. Tennis gear, new running shoes and fishing or hunting supplies are great too. 

Finally — Significant others

Don’ts 

• Necklaces: Girls wear one necklace and never take it off, so your cheesy heart necklace will never get worn. Sorry! 
• Clothes/hoodies – again, girls like to pick stuff out for themselves. And there’s a pretty high chance that whatever you give her will sit in her house and then be burned once you break up.
• Perfume – what smells good to you might not to her, and she probably already has an everyday perfume that she’s not willing to change.

Do’s 

• Fun outings or dates — especially with a special person. This could be concert tickets, a nice dinner or a painting or pottery class. This will be much more memorable than a material gift. 
• Rings, Bracelets or Earrings. Unlike necklaces, these are easily interchangeable and can be worn with what she already has. Make sure you know if she wears silver or gold metal because she won’t wear it if it doesn’t go with her other jewelry. Don’t go too flashy, and make sure it’s high quality and won’t turn her skin green from tarnishing. 
• Soft blanket or anything comfy — girls love snuggly things, especially in the winter, and it is so much better if it comes from a special someone. Bonus points for wearable blankets, anyone who owns one knows how fabulous they are.

Don’ts 

• Mushy gifts: under this category falls picture frames, those cheesy album cover keychains, keepsakes or matching couples jewelry or clothing. It’s just cringy. 
• Cologne/Toiletries: Who are you, his mom? Chances are his aunts and grandmothers have given him shower gel and body spray packs since he was 13. If you think he stinks just tell him! 
• “Funny” shirts or socks: Haha! Super funny! Now where’s the real gift? 

Do

• YETI gear: Durable, sleek, and very versatile. From cups to coolers, there’s something for everyone, at every price point. Bonus — everything is customizable with monograms, designs, color and more! 
• Lululemon ABC pants: I don’t know what it is about these, but every boy I have talked to LOVES these pants. They must be really comfy, if ABC stands for what I think it does. 
• Tickets to a sports game: This is a great way to spend quality time with him and do something he will actually enjoy. No need to learn the rules of the game, chances are he will man-splain everything to you.