Hise Gets Heated

I love Shawnee Mission East. The sports, the student body, the administration and most of all, the school spirit. It is and has been without a doubt the highlight of my life so far. There are very few things about East that bug me. But as we all know, the more you’re around someone or something, the more annoyances become big things. I thought it was time to voice my minisculel problems to hopefully create change in the school to make it my perfect happy place.

Bathrooms

As a senior girl, I’ve seen every girls bathroom at East and I can say with confidence each bathroom is a different experience. Each bathroom is crusty, smells and could use a clean up. All the individual bathrooms have their own unique flaw.

The bathroom next to the cafeteria always has one stall that never works. Going in there, I have to be ready to wait in line because there is probably minimal working stalls. In this case, there is usually no toilet paper because all girls use the same stall. So next time, bring your own.

The worst: when the lighting in the bathroom makes you look bad. The bathroom makes me looks abnormally ugly on my Monday slump. You leave feeling beat down and with low self esteem. The whole day I walk around self conscious until I use another bathroom and remind myself that no, my skin is not a pasty yellow color and no, my hair is not a nasty as it looked. There is no solution to this, do as I do, avoid the mirrors in the bathroom at all costs.

Another thing that frustrates me is when there is stuff on the inside of the bathroom stall like the ones by the gym. Writing that makes me feel weird about myself, like “Santa is watching you pee.” Or the beautiful pictures of Shia LaBeouf staring at  me as I’m on the can. Although, I will say the bathrooms are kept fairly clean (at least the girls’ are) taking the signs off the inside of the bathroom stall would help enthase my bathroom experience.

Every bathroom has the soap that we all know is just colored water and doesn’t actually clean our hands. There is an easy solution: use the hand sanitizer in the teachers’ classroom. I don’t want to touch your dirty post-bathroom hands.

Hallways

The hallways have always been a problem. But for me, I find some rather ironic things in the hallways of Shawnee Mission East.

First of all: we are like herded cattle. We’re supposed to keep moving at all time according to the “no loitering” signs. Even though they are right under the TVs that are meant for us to stand there and read. C’mon, if that isn’t ironic humor at its finest.

I have found an easy solution to this. Wait in your classroom until the minute music comes on then sprint to your next class. You may be winded but saves you a lot of problematic situations.

Next, the stairs. There is so much wrong with them.

Maybe the most embarrassing fact is how out of breath I get going from the third to fifth floor. I am literally having to catch my breath.

Another awkward moment every SMEaster experiences is getting their backpack stuck on the stairwells and holding up the line of freshman while in a rush to get to class. I never know how to go about this situation. Should I go up and move it or wait for someone to unstick me? Should I turn sideways and let people pass by me or be that girl who holds up the whole stairwell?

Finally, the dreaded falling down the stairs or in my case falling up the stairs. Either my shoes need new traction or I am extra prone to falling. Somehow I always find a way to trip then comes the deciding moment: laugh about it or be awkward and pretend like nothing happened?

However, the stairs are a painful but simple fix: break something. The elevator key is easy and avoids the most stressful time at East– passing period.

PDA

There is something about PDA (public displays of affection) that really grinds my gears. I don’t fully understand it and have some questions I would like to address.

First of all, what about school makes you want to get it on? Does being in school just really make you want to make out with someone? Ew. School makes me feel tired, gross and watching you two swapping saliva makes me gag. I would like to get my education and leave in peace

Next, do you not feel uncomfortable? Really, are you not worried everyone’s judging you on your kissing skills? Isn’t it weird having teachers watching you grab each others’ booties? I would just feel violated, other people don’t need to share that intimate moment with me. And going to class, wouldn’t teachers feel weird having a student they’ve seen seconds before licking someone else’s mouth? Don’t your hands get sweaty?

Most people at East have learned to not engage in this repolsive display and to all those people, I applaud you. For all of you that haven’t, I hope you understand where the rest of us are coming from and respect others by not participating.

The thing that peeves me the most about PDA is when it actually gets in my way. Most of the time its just looking at it and being grossed out. But, sometimes two people will be going at in right in front of my locker or classroom door and I can’t decide whether to shove them off of it or physically seperate them. If you’re going to publically show much much you love each other, please don’t make it disturb other people.

There is an overly simple solution to this problem: WAIT. I promise you will almost always see each other again, most likely in the next 45 minutes. You can fight the urge to fondle each other until 2:40 — if not for your own personal reasons then for mine, people.

Parking Lot

Every time I am in the parking lot I get in and out as soon as possible. I get a mean case of road rage, or parking lot rage, becaust its a cluster.

So, first thing in the morning I pull in and I have parents cutting me off left and right. I’m sorry, but you have already dropped your child off, what are you going to be late for? I’m the one you’re about to make late for class.

A couple hours later, I leave for lunch. Usually no big deal unless I happen to turn left toward my house and end up with an $85 ticket even though there isn’t a single car headed in my direction. Then, coming back to lunch, chances are someone took my prime front row parking spot to waste another five minutes walking the long walk from nearly the Prairie Village City hall to the school.

Okay I’m sorry non-seniors, but where has seniority gone? In my day (last year), we respected our elders who had the right to the senior lot. The good juniors we were parked in the junior lot as to not disturb those older and wiser seniors.

I get that the rules have changed, but when I see a junior in the front row of the senior lot something in my gut makes me a little sick to my stomach. However, much worse: seeing a sophomore or freshman in the senior lot makes me want to punch all of them square in the gut. At least the juniors had to pay for a pass, the underclassmen don’t. The upperclassmen spent two years respecting the rules, a precedent that should be followed. One of the few things I can’t deal with.

This is not a hard thing to fix: Park in a respectful place. Juniors that park in the back of the lot, I salute you.