Head to Head: Staffers debate which network is superior — Disney Channel or Nickelodeon

Singing and dancing along to “Liv and Maddie’s” theme song in my Cinderella heels and the iconic Disney-skirt-over-jeans combo at age 6, I knew I had fallen in love with Disney Channel. 

After watching recent comebacks and anniversaries, like the “Hannah Montana” 16 year reunion or the making of “High School Musical the Musical the Series,”  it dawned upon me how much Disney Channel influenced my childhood — as it did for millions of others. With shows such as “Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” “Wizards of Waverly Place” and “That’s So Raven,” grabbing the remote and switching the channel to 251 was a daily routine ingrained in my brain.

I feel that anyone born in the early to late 2000s is a Disney fanatic whether they admit it or not — who doesn’t love classics like “The Lion King” or “The Little Mermaid?” I often find myself reminiscing over sinking into my couch at 6:00 p.m. on a Monday night to watch the weekly episode of “K.C Undercover” or even re-watching “Stuck in the Middle” while knowing all the lyrics to the theme song. 

Disney Channel has endless iconic original movies and hoards of TV shows. The most watched premiere of all-time on Disney Channel was Disney original “High School Musical 2, with over 17.24 million viewers. “Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie” came in second with 11.43 million viewers. Disney Channel’s consistently huge viewership and following is extra impressive considering all their content is family-oriented and kid-friendly.

These shows gave me incredible dreams as a kid — like being a teen pop star living the best of both worlds or convincing myself I could live in a zillion dollar penthouse like the Ross kids. Yes, there were lots of unrealistic standards on Disney, but, they never failed to make every episode a life lesson. From teaching to not paper maché your brother’s eyebrow to teaching the importance of forgiveness and friendship, there’s a lot for kids to learn from these shows.

I learned to drive with London Tipton’s PRNDL — an acronym for Park-Reverse-Neutral-Drive-Low — and developed my own personal aesthetic with a touch of Lizzie McGuire and Sharpay Evans. I keep the y2k aesthetic close to my heart because of Lizzie’s iconic jackets and cute printed tops. Don’t even get me started on my obsession with the color pink and the need for everything to be blinged out like Sharpay. 

And, of course, a Disney classic — crossover episodes. I vividly remember watching Teddy and PJ from “Good Luck Charlie” needing to spend Christmas with Jessie and the Ross family because their flight got canceled. Not to mention Disney’s idea to take characters from “Jessie” and make their summer vacation into a whole new show — “Bunk’d.”

Watching all your favorite characters come together and have wacky hijinks with each other was the best way to end a good school day. 

Now, don’t get me wrong — Nickelodeon didn’t stray from supplying the goods with timeless classics like “Drake & Josh” and  “Victorious.” To me, Nickelodeon was nothing but immature characters just messing around. The only thing I recall from watching Nickelodeon is pranks and parents who had no sense of supervision over their kids.

I also never understood the hype around “getting slimed.” The only thing I would think about when watching their award show would be the fact that my clothes would get ruined from all that green goop. 

Disney is far bigger and greater than Nickelodeon. Disney’s unique, universal formula includes much more than just Disney Channel — parks, websites, apps, food products and cruises.

While Nickelodeon Land does exist, it will never live up to the numerous Disneylands or Disney Worlds — a childhood dream — that we all know and love. Nickelodeon will not win over the quality of music, love, lessons and magic that Disney has to offer. Disney will forever be universally triumphant. 

Listen, I could feel nostalgia for hours, but, whether it was 4-year-old me waking up to watch “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” singing along to “Meeska Mooska Mickey Mouse!” or 16-year-old me yearning to be Gabriella with my own Troy Bolton from “High School Musical”— Disney has always brought a sense of magic, enchantment and euphoria into my heart.

“iCarly,” “Victorious”, “Drake & Josh,” etc. — between the ages 5 and 12 I lived and died for these shows. Every day after school, I’d plop on the couch with my eyes glued to the screen watching Nickelodeon for hours.

From Carly’s sarcasm to Drake and Josh’s playful banter, Nickelodeon’s characters shaped my personality like big brothers and sisters.

One of Nickelodeon’s best attributes is their variety — they cater to all ages. Each of the network’s subcategories — Nick Jr., Teen Nick and Nick at Nite — mark milestones as their viewers grow up. 

As if they weren’t already hits, the theme songs get even better as you graduate to each new sub-channel. From second to sixth grade, the hearty “OOOOHH!” before every episode of “Spongebob Squarepants” was replaced by the four claps of “Friends” that signaled the start of Nick at Nite. These are far superior to the conformity you find within shows streamed on Disney Channel, with their token peppy arrogance like “Jessie” or “Austin & Ally.” 

Aside from their undeniable triumphs in the fundamental aspects of TV shows, Nickelodeon’s characters were higher quality and set a good example for their young audience to mimic. My parents’ most frequently used criticism of my behavior was, “You’re acting like one of those Disney Channel brats!”

They observed that Disney Channel characters like Hannah Montana were often whiney, spoiled and disrespectful to their parents. Nickelodeon isn’t exempt from these criticisms, but it’s not as prevalent as it is on Disney.

Let’s not forget the foundation of these networks — the cartoons. Granted, Disney’s empire was built on more “iconic” original characters — most notable being Mickey Mouse — Disney’s cartoons have evolved from Mickey Shorts into Doc McStuffins, an infantilized disgrace of what they once were.

Nickelodeon’s animators consider all ages. Sure they’ve got “Paw Patrol” for toddlers, but they also run shows like “Spongebob Squarepants” and “Fairly Odd Parents” which have more advanced writing with frequent “adult jokes” like in “iCarly” when Gibby’s little brother Guppy is caught reading a book entitled “Nifty Shades of Beige,” a reference to “Fifty Shades of Gray.” This creates a network that children and parents alike can enjoy while remaining appropriate for all ages.

Both their cartoons and live action shows have stayed popular since their original airtime — so much so that iCarly has even been rebooted. This speaks highly of the network when after 10 years viewers still want more of Spencer’s spaghetti tacos and Freddie’s “In five, four, three, two…” 

Other programs that haven’t been rebooted are still relevant in memes and pop culture. I still fall into a fit of giggles every time I hear the iconic “‘Are you calling me a liar?’ ‘Well I ‘ain’t calling you a truther!’” argument from “Drake & Josh.” I still idolize Jade West from “Victorious” and I’m still hopelessly in love with all the “Big Time Rush” boys.

Nickelodeon, consider this my thank you note for the laughs, loves and feeling of superiority over Disney kids.