Garrett Smith: how childhood hardship and trauma influenced senior’s decision to make a difference for others in life

“Is everything ok?”

Those three words sent then-sophomore Garrett Smith bawling with a simple reply of “no.” Sitting by himself in the back row of chairs at his new youth group, he knew he had to overcome the automatic, knee-jerk reply of “Yeah, I’m fine” when his youth group leader checked on him that day. He was tired of pretending he was ok.

He was tired of feeling resentment and emptiness. He was tired of the endless nightly arguments with his mom. He was tired of chasing the temporary pleasures of drugs, alcohol and sex, and tired of the regret that lingered after his high wore off.

Garrett saw that question as his last chance— for months prior, thoughts of suicide spiraled in his mind.

“I just opened up to one person and he told me that I actually have purpose,” Garrett said. “It changed my life. It was the very first time that I actually felt loved for once.”

If he could be loved in spite of his trauma and past, Garrett decided he would give living another try.

“My problems didn’t change or go away,” Garrett said. “But now I had a sense of hope that I could lean back on and that would catch me.”

This second chance gave him something he hadn’t seen in years — hope for recovery and a feeling of lasting fulfillment. Seeking this fulfillment from church, he began to occupy his Sundays with service, his weeknights with youth group and any free moment with volunteering at his church.

Two and a half years later, Garrett now wants to be the person his youth group leader was for him, extending his passion to help others by pursuing an intercultural studies degree and a job in the church.

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Garrett’s mom, Courtney, describes him as a “gentle soul.” He was the kid in elementary school that teachers picked to show new students around and help them on their first day.

But after his grandfather’s passing in 2015, Garrett’s quiet life in Kearney, Missouri was shattered when he, his mom and two older sisters made the sudden move to Prairie Village, Kansas — where Garrett’s dad lived. Though they’d been separated for as long as Garrett can remember, Courtney’s dad’s passing made her realize that she wanted her kids to have a relationship with their father, outside of their usual weekend visit every two or three weeks.

The abrupt move, combined with the struggles of starting a new school and fitting in led Garrett to start using drugs and alcohol. 

“I chased the world and chased what everyone else did,” Garrett said. 

At first it was to fit in, but then morphed into a coping mechanism. It became a way to avoid confronting his crumbling relationship with his mom. To deal with their verbal conflicts — hours of fighting, yelling accusations and insults. To try and get rid of the emptiness he felt in his life.

It wasn’t until he couldn’t ignore his suicidal thoughts any longer — what Garrett recalls as “rock bottom” — when he finally knew he needed help.

Since that day in the back of the youth group room, Garrett now spends five days a week at LifeChurch, attending worship nights, studying The Bible and socializing at youth group — connecting with God showed him his purpose. He attributes his change to finding a “forever satisfaction” in an eternal God, as opposed to seeking temporary pleasures. 

The gentle soul his mother knew had finally returned home.

“By diving into that interest and finding out more about giving and putting others first and focusing on God and learning about his role, it really brought out the kind and gentle soul that you see as a child,” Courtney said.

His goal now is to be a lifeline for someone else. After getting his degree from Ozark Christian College, he plans to potentially go on a mission trip or get a job within the church — his bottom line, however, is simply to make a difference.

“I’ll be sharing my testimony with people, and if I just impact one person through my story I’ll know I’ve made a change,” Garrett said. “I don’t care where I go, wherever life and God leads me. If that’s to China, I’ll go to China. If it’s to Zimbabwe, or Brazil or anywhere else, I’ll go there. I just want to share what I’ve done and what God has done in me.”