Ethan Enderle: The bittersweet feeling of graduating high school, but from the perspective of a full remote student.

As someone who cried at their preschool graduation ceremony, I’ve always been an emotional person, especially when it comes to “moving on.” This time of year is bittersweet no matter your age or grade, or at least it’s always been that way for me — except for this year.

For 13 years, I have been going to school with the same people. So naturally, at the end of each school year, it’s emotional. I’m getting older, changing teachers and sometimes moving buildings. I’ve never let myself get too sad, because I always knew I’d be coming back next year.  

Well, this year is different. I can’t reassure myself. I am not coming back next year. I won’t see my teachers and my classmates — in some cases, classmates I’ve known for all 13 years. 

For me, May 24 at graduation will be the first time I’ll see most of my classmates in over a year. Being all-remote, I’ve spent my entire senior year stationed behind a computer, sitting at the  desk in my basement. 

Not only have I missed out on regular traditions — like Lancer Day and pep assemblies — due to COVID-19, I’ve missed out on the ambiance of being at school. It wasn’t until this year that I realized how much I appreciated being at school. Simply being in a room with other real-life human beings is so much better than being surrounded by stacks of math worksheets in my quiet basement where the only sound is me typing on a keyboard.

I miss chatting with classmates and teachers. I miss passing periods. I miss pep assemblies. I miss all of it. It’s difficult to sit behind a screen and listen to the rest of your classmates joke and talk to each other. I’m disconnected.

These last few weeks of school, I’ve found myself trying to soak up every last bit of my senior year. I’ve been finding every excuse to go up to the school and do something, whether it’s attending band class and concerts or going to the first and last pep assembly of the year. I’m trying to make memories while there’s still time. 

To put it frankly, I took high school for granted. I convinced myself I was okay with being virtual and missing out because I have college to look forward to. I told myself I just needed to finish this year.
In retrospect, I wish I’d pushed myself to be present the past year. If anyone is to learn anything from what I’ve done, I hope it’s this — high school is fun. Don’t fight back on enjoying it because you think it’s cliche. It actually is fun, so actually have fun.