Emmerson Winfrey: Striving to be like my mom helped me make connections in Harbinger

“You are just like your mom.”

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been told that in my life.

The thing is, I wanted to be just like her — her work ethic, charisma everyone seems to love and her ability to make anyone laugh. Ever since I was little I strived not just to impress her, but to become a carbon copy of her — she’s just that perfect.

But when little freshman me had to write my first news story, I couldn’t fathom talking to three people I didn’t know. My hands shook every time I handed a pass to a teacher to interview their students and you would’ve thought I was an F1 racer with how fast I would rush through interviews.

Tate didn’t have to tear me apart in critique; I tore myself up.

I wasn’t like my mom.

I’ve seen her go up to strangers in athletic outfits in Target and ask them if they played pickleball, then spend five minutes asking them about the rules of the sport. When we went to Disney, she’d walk up to random people on the street and ask them for restaurant recommendations.

All these random interactions are fun for her, yet a nightmare to me.

Why couldn’t I be like her?

I dedicated myself to never repeating the social awkwardness of my first interviews. I picked up features whenever I could, volunteered to run passes and took every opportunity I could to talk to people. 

Once, I asked how she had the confidence to do that. Her response? “I don’t know but those strangers love me!” 

At that moment, I realized there was no “skill” to talking to people. I just had to be myself. 

I didn’t need to master my confidence or hype myself up before interviews. I just needed to make connections.

After this, I stopped trying to curate the perfect list of questions — I went in and focused on conversations. 

I’d open up conversations even if they weren’t exactly on topic the second my interviewee walked into the J-room. 

Harbinger is more than just getting quotes or texting people for edits — it’s about making connections. Connecting with my copy editing groups, connecting with Tate and connecting with whoever I’m interviewing.

So, while I still may not have my mom’s ability to approach random people and ask them whatever’s on my mind, in my four years on Harbinger, I’ve successfully picked up her ability to connect with anyone she talks to — arguably a better lesson.