Drop the False Fronts

Seated in the basement of Buca Di Beppo, at our table of seven, fourteen elbows fight for space on the table, phones illuminating our faces, photo-editing skills in full swing. Despite the fact our phones were fighting over one bar of service in the underground Italian joint, we were mesmerized by editing our pictures. After all, we spent half an hour taking them, to ensure they are “Insta-worthy”. I bet not one of us could tell you what our waiter looked like.

People spend more time planning, posing and taking pictures to make their social media personas exceed others’. More time is put into improving our profiles than maintaining important relationships with family and friends. Plans and outfits are scheduled around what would look best for our Snapchat stories. Our devices are causing us to lose sight of what’s important.

Social media used to act as a platform for us to share our highlights and cherished moments through snapshots, but now it’s become a way to make others envious. Posts have evolved from posting a picture at a small gathering of friends to parasailing in Bali. We compete for likes and comments. Giving empty compliments on other girls’ pictures has become a game with a prize of an “I’m obsessed w/ you!!” comment back on our own picture.

Things we put on our media build up a false representation of what our lives are realistically like. I don’t actually spend every day posing on a mountain in Colorado or upscale dining on the Plaza. Of course, I’m guilty of all of these things too. The most unrealistic part, however, is the perfect outfits- dressed up, trendy and name-brand from choker to hundred-dollar wedges. I’ve realized that based on my Instagram profile, one would guess that I dress up and go out all the time. When realistically, you’ll find me in leggings and a sweatshirt in bed, binge-watching Netflix.

Even if you’re famous like Alexis Ren, it’s unlikely that your life is accurately depicted through photographs. Honestly. No one is covered in sand and craning their body into unnaturally twisted positions on a beach in Greece all the time.

We need to realize that no matter how many name-brand bikinis one may have, there will always be somebody out there having a better day, wearing a cuter romper, or God forbid, a better caption on their post.

There’s an underlying pressure within each platform of social media that keeps us from being ourselves, almost forcing us to present different elements of us. Through Instagram we try to outshine each other. Snapchat is used to show both our cute and humorous sides, and a competition for who’s having the most fun. In reality while we capture these “moments” we plan out, we are missing out on the true moments. The stories you would be able to tell are so much better than the ten second photo or video you put up for a full day. Let’s face it, nobody even pays attention to them.  On Twitter people retweet aiming to humor their followers and ruthlessly subtweet each other. We use Facebook to charm parents and family, and watch Tasty videos.

We dedicate so much of our time to having a “perfect feed” that we don’t enjoy the moments the pictures are supposedly representing. Instead of posting a picture of yourself at a party, be the life of it. Be the person you want to be seen as, and your social media will reflect that. Even Kendall Jenner goes on sprees where she just deletes Instagram and Snapchat off of her phone because of all the attention and time she wastes dealing with it.

Next time you’re out at dinner, I recommend putting your phones in the middle of the table until you’re done eating. Spend more time chowing down on barbeque than posing in front of the brick wall of the restaurant. Jam out in the car to Fergalicious with your friends instead of snapchatting. Make the most of your time and do things you enjoy, instead of just making it appear like you are.

I’ve found that nights where I’ve had the most fun are nights where the time spent on our phones was limited. Social media has become a huge impact on everything we do, from our clothing choices to the way we act. It influences the way we talk, dress, try to look and decisions we make. It warps us into people we likely wouldn’t become. Instead of “Hello, how are you?” we say “Yo, wassup!” because that’s what we see on the Internet.

With the holidays coming up, I have a challenge for us. I ask you to set your phone down. Don’t worry about getting the perfect angle of your Christmas tree, story-ing your dinner plate or getting a decent picture with your cousin. Worry about spending time face to face with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, the people you don’t get to see from out of town. I promise, the snapchat stories will still be there when your family finally leaves.