Disconnected: Phones have greatly damaged our communication skills and we depend on conversations behind a screen

As my friends and I sat down to eat lunch, we immediately unloaded our complaints about our latest assignments, disrespectful classmates and overloaded schedules. We talked for less than five minutes before our table immediately went silent. We all reached for our phones and disconnected ourselves from the school around us.

While cell phones give us the ability to communicate wherever and whenever, they also negatively affect our communication skills and in-person interactions. For many of us, the years we were supposed to start learning in-person communication were spent communicating over texts or Snapchats which made it hard to pick up on some of the social cues our generation is missing.

We’re all guilty of it — abandoning a meaningful conversation with our friends the split-second we get a notification that our favorite influencer just posted or someone finally Snapped us back. 

According to the Pew Research Center, 89% of cell phone owners say they used their cell phones during their most recent conversation. This five-second glance at your screen can single-handedly diminish the conversation you’re having as it sends signals to the person you’re talking to that you’re no longer interested.

An easy way to improve your conversations is to simply put your phone somewhere it isn’t in your grasp. Americans check their phones 96 times a day – that’s once about every 10 minutes, according to research by Asursion.

Each buzz that follows with a notification makes you even more inclined to reach and check your phone. By putting it somewhere you can’t instantly reach for it or hear it, you lighten the urge to constantly check it or glance at it.

But, even if you do stay off your phone in conversations, our communication skills can still lack in other areas. We’ve grown too comfortable with the emotionless text conversation filled with things like “omg,” “idk” or streams of emojis. 

If conversation gets dry, we can simply send a funny TikTok to set the mood or straight-up choose to not respond. In-person, when the conversation begins to fade, our generation struggles more to keep the conversation going because we’ve gotten used to being able to do these things over text, according to an article by GoodTherapy.

Our dependence on text conversations has also caused us to struggle with life skills we’re expected to have, such as promptly responding to questions. When we get a text from someone asking a question and we aren’t completely sure how to answer, we have the ability to ignore it until we have our answer. Because we can do this over text, we don’t develop the skill to answer unexpected questions quickly.

When I have a missing assignment in a class, I’ll type up a quick email to my teacher to avoid a face-to-face conversation. Whenever there’s drama in a friend group, most of it takes place in the group chat and not in-person. Even breaking up with someone feels less awkward when doing so over text instead of having to tell the person face-to-face. It’s easy to hide from difficult things through a phone.

While these things may not seem as big of a deal now since this has become a characteristic of Gen Z., later on in life when applying for jobs and being interviewed, good communication skills are vital to succeed. 

Communication skills are the most important aspect when getting an interview for colleges, jobs or internships. According to International Business Machines Corporations, having a positive interview makes you 38% more likely to get a job offer. Oftentimes, our generation struggles with these since over text we can take as much time as we need to respond to questions.

Similarly, if you’re having a conversation with your boss and can’t resist the urge to check what text just came through, the conversation won’t simply fizzle as it does with your friends. Many bosses would give consequences or at least think less of the employee if they were checking their phone constantly during a conversation.

Luckily, communication skills are continuously developing throughout your life, so you can redeem yourself from the communication flaws your phone has taken from you.