Creative from the Crib: Unique names distinguish kids from their peers, boosting creativity and individuality

Nightingale, Island, Yoda, Michaelangelo. Oh and Coyote.

I have a list of baby names in my notes app. They’re ideas I’ve been curating since elementary school, and these knockouts crown the page. I read it to friends. And guess what? People laugh. They think I’m joking. I’m not.

But I’ll suffer the smirks and snickers if it means inspiring at least one future parent. My mission? Spice up roll call 20 years down the road. That and identity development. 

After all, penning uncommon names on birth certificates can promote individuality and self-expression in kids. Let’s get over judging parents’ choices and consider adding a few offbeat names to our own list of ideas. 

Celebrities do it. Patrick Mahomes’ most impressive feat isn’t two rings, but the names of his son and daughter, Sterling and Bronze. Gweneth Paltrow thought Apple and Moses fit her babies best. Kylie Jenner’s strokes of genius were Stormi and Aire — she was clearly annoyed after sharing the letter “K” with her five sisters and mom.

Wildly, most don’t applaud these masterpieces like I do. Under every influencer’s Instagram post announcing their newborn’s unique name are comments mocking the parents’ choices.

“You can’t name your child that.” (OK @tom.smith).

“Does she want her kid bullied in school?” (thanks @rob_smith).

“He’s ruining the baby’s life.” (speaking from experience? @johnsmith29).

What if the parents are just bored? They have reason to be. Rather than knitting baby blankets for Olivia or Liam, some expecting couples prefer names that startle people.

Some may call it cruelty — I call it having a little fun. People take life too seriously, flipping through pages of baby name books and chewing their nails over potential bad nicknames that might haunt their child. Only to bless that chubby cherub face with “Bob.”

Maybe choosing a basic name will make it easier to buy a keychain or tasseled bracelet with your baby’s name on it at the zoo gift shop. But the cost is devastating.

Common names can be cursed — Chad, Becky, Karen. When a generation gets into a frenzy and treats names like trends, these words gain notoriety and combust. Chad over there? No thoughts behind those eyes, just surfing and vibes. Becky? Blondie can’t spell to save her life. Karen? Customer service agents pray her lethal bob doesn’t spawn at their 9-5.

It gets sadder. Their poor parents have good intentions — enough to fill a baby shower conversation about how little Rob is destined for greatness. Maybe he won’t get bullied for his name. But by scrambling to protect their child from a life of harassment, they’re really picking a mediocre personality-stencil: style, humor, hobbies, hair dye.

Instead, they should choose respectable names like Fleming or Sunbeam. Punchy, mysterious and vague enough to have zero associations when people meet the lucky owner, these names set babies up to be one-of-a-kind rockstars, astronauts, pediatricians or teachers — whatever their fetal heart desires.

If the celebrity endorsements didn’t convince you, the facts will. Rare names are associated with pursuing unusual career paths, like a film director or judge, according to a study by the Beijing Institute of Psychology. Research by Arizona State University found that having a unique name correlates to creativity and open mindedness. Sorry to say it, but little Sam probably isn’t going to ace his AP Art project like his classmate, Jupiter.

And don’t think family names get a pass. What’s captivating about a third Amy? Or Jeff Jr.? I’d rather dip fondue with Sarsaparilla the First — the real deal — over her clone. Coining an eccentric name opens possibilities and allows kids to define themselves freely. 

In fact, it’s our societal duty to push acceptance of uncommon names. In diversity-weak communities like ours, we see yearbook pages stuffed with the same white, Christian names that have been inked in the Bible for thousands of years.

So we grow up. Start families. Search for something special to fit our beloved bundles. Maybe we’re drawn to something like Khaleesi or Anakin, but we settle for Mark because that’s what everyone else does. If you’re sick of the same-old, opt for something that’ll give your kid a little room for self-definition and built-in character growth.

After all, wouldn’t you rather see your kid’s name on the silver screen or a Fortune 500 company than a gift shop fridge magnet?