Connor Vogel: Harbinger taught me the importance of having a thick skin and the benefits of constructive criticism

“You know, you don’t need to be on staff.”

After joining Harbinger my sophomore year, I’d gained confidence in my skills as a writer and, to a lesser extent, designer. But when the head editors at the time pulled me into the library during spring semester and shared these callous words with me, all of that confidence disappeared.

Since I was little, my biggest fear was failure. Not because I needed to succeed with every little project, but because of the criticism that accompanied any shortcomings. Joining Harbinger was my way of confronting this suffocating sense of fear.

As a sophomore, I was often overwhelmed by the constant interviews, drafts and deadlines. Of course, my articles back then were less than exceptional. But I hadn’t even been on staff for a full year, what did they expect?

So, when I was finally asked to quit the staff, I decided to embrace my faults in the future out of pure spite.

This ‘motivation’ led me to reapply for my junior year anyway, with the fear I had previously experienced replaced with the determination to prove last year’s editors were wrong. I realized with every suggestion, edit and dreaded Tate critique, I slowly improved as a writer — with every mistake teaching me something new.

In the past, a brutal first edit made me question everything about the piece. Now, I intentionally seek out the toughest copy editors to butcher my latest article.

After initially being intimidated by experienced staffers, I discovered they were my greatest resource for information. They’d once been in the same position and were more than willing to answer any questions that arose from my struggles.

With this epiphany, I was able to overcome many mistakes and truly thrive over the last three years on staff.

Not every student wants to take Harbinger, known for being an especially difficult elective, but learning how to meet deadlines and clearly communicate on a group project are essential life skills forged in the J-Room.

If I could go back in time and do high school all over again — a terrible idea — there are few choices over the last four years I truly regret. I have accepted that without the paper, I would never have learned to use my mistakes to find solutions.

Criticism can seem harsh at the moment, but every hurtful comment helped me become head online editor as a senior, proving to those stuck-up editors that making mistakes doesn’t mean you can’t improve.