Comments on other people’s bodies as conversation starters or jokes are a harmful form of body shaming that shouldn’t be accepted

When I worked at a camp for elementary kids last summer, I had to wave down parents to get them to come over and sign their kids out, which is when they’d jokingly say, “Sorry! You sure you’re not one of the kids?”

Not once has the first thought in my head when meeting a new person been to comment on their appearance. So why is this a common occurrence for others?

I’m 5’3” and for the most part I’ve been the same height for the last five years. That is to say that for the last five years, I’ve been constantly asked if I’m 12, if I know I’m short and, oh, to be handed a kids menu everytime my family goes to a restaurant. Even family members who I see less often wonder if I’m in eighth or ninth grade — I’m in tenth. 

Not only do people like to make a scene regarding appearances, but when it’s expressed to them that, yes, this is something that you’re a little self-conscious about, they try to “reassure you” that there’s nothing to worry about. A little PSA to adults: stop saying “You’ll be so grateful when you’re older when everyone thinks you’re younger than you are!” It’s getting old. 

Most of the time, their attempt to make you feel more at ease holds no effect — I couldn’t care less if guys like short girls. If I could snap my fingers and make myself 5’7” right now I would be rejoicing that I no longer have to hem the bottom of new pants anymore because my legs would be long enough to fit in them. 

No one should be made to feel like their bodies aren’t good enough for society because someone thought it would be funny to tell them their arms look like twigs. But that starts with being mindful of the comments we make towards others.

Though this is a much lighter example, making comments on someone’s size can be harmful — especially for teenagers. According to the WNCN, 94% of teenage girls and 64% of teenage boys experience body shaming. These kinds of comments shouldn’t be part of our common dialect.

Talking about someone’s figure shouldn’t be a conversation starter, as their body is none of your business and there’s no positive way that a conversation can take off from there. 

It needs to be recognized that there are different types of body shaming — whether that be making fun of someone’s weight, height, body hair, etc. — and all body shaming is hurtful. There’s no excuse for telling a guy that he needs to grow a foot or telling a girl to drink a milkshake as a “joke.” 

Why society began to think that talking about how short, tall, fat or skinny someone is acceptable, I have no idea. Some may think it’s a compliment, believing “If I call her skinny, it’ll be nice because it’s like I’m telling her she’s not fat.” It’s only degrading and suggests that one size is better than the other. 

Even these little “funny” remarks can lead to bigger issues for the person being shamed. According to the Clark Chronicle, in extreme cases, teenagers can develop eating disorders when their insecurities and comments made on them lower their self-esteem. 

More commonly, comments on people’s appearances reassure the idea that there’s a “perfect” body type, and that because someone is too tall or too fat, they couldn’t possibly fit that body type. 

Being more mindful about the comments we make to others can make it easier for people to accept who they are, as they are.