Caroline Gould: Come reminisce with me about Tate’s infamous “critique”

Have you ever heard of a critique? No? Hah. Imagine pouring your soul into a story, laying out your most opinionated opinion or condensing someone’s life into 800 words, only for that story to be crushed in one of Tate’s 50-pagers. 

Forget the times I’ve broken my nonchalant persona to curl up in a fetal position on my bedroom floor in tears — today I’m feeling vengeful. This is my last chance to make my journalism teacher of four years “want to pull out his hair” over my words — I’m not gonna waste that.

“Generally question leads are just cop outs.. I’m not sure these do much. I wonder how many No’s you’ll get.”

And look at that. The first sentence of this story? A question. It doesn’t matter if you said “no,” because I’m about to show you what a critique is.

“It’s just info tossed there.”

Fine, so maybe this story is just me tossing out random chunks of critique comments that I spent an hour sifting through. And maybe I’ve accidentally done that in a story or two… or more.

“So what’s your hook for this story? I don’t think you built enough of one.. We have a lot of successful parents.. So what sets their story apart?” 

This was referencing a story I wrote about an East parent, and honestly, I don’t know what sets their story apart. I thought it was their entrepreneurial passion, but I guess not. So now I’m thinking, will someone wonder this about me someday? What will set my writing career apart? And then who will critique me?

“You didn’t really weave the story together very well. When you could have had a nice story here. Instead you have these cool pieces but that’s kind of what they are.. Pieces.”

This one broke me. I never cry, but I’ll admit I ugly cried. I took a break from writing and rereading that story to find how those pieces weren’t connected. I couldn’t do it anymore. 

But next year I’ll be in New York City studying journalism, and I know I’ll have a professor or editor break my soul through their commentary on my work once again. Tate, at that point, I’ll miss you and your persistent constructive criticism.

But there’s a reason I’ve stuck with The Harbinger: I’ve always been able to move on. I used to get a D on a test and give up for the rest of the semester. But with any story that’s chopped back up into words by Tate, I’ve brushed it off, since he’s given me endless chances to do better.

And for that, maybe I’ll miss my taste of personal hell — critique.