Baking Bad: This Is The End

This is it, folks. This is the end.

When I wrote my last blog post, I had every intention of creating a wildly extravagant cake. My blog was going to go out with a sharp bang. And believe me, that was my plan. It was my plan two weeks ago, when I spent about $50 on supplies for a cake. It was my plan when I spent five hours straight baking that god-awful cake, and it was my plan when I procrastinated writing my blog and making a video about it. It was my plan up until about five minutes ago, when something didn’t seem right.

Why should I have to top myself, yet again? There’s absolutely no point. I’ve made cake upon cake, pastry upon pastry and worked my hardest at making myself better. But upping the stakes isn’t going to make me improve my baking skill; it’s just going to make me hate myself when the results don’t turn out the way I’d hoped.

Starting Baking Bad, I’d planned for it to be fun. I used to love baking, and I used to love the thrill of icing a cupcake just right, and finding the most perfect-looking cookie in a batch. But in the past few months, I’ve started dreading each new blog. The thought of having to spend an entire night baking a batch of cookies that wouldn’t turn out very well made me just want to give up. I used to jokingly tell people that I hated baking. Now, I find this statement has become true.

So, you know what I say to this self-competition? Screw that. I don’t need to pit myself against myself. If I don’t feel like baking, who cares? If I feel like taking 15 minutes to whip up a batch of easy chocolate chip cookies, who cares? If I want to make a damn fancy cake, then who the hell cares?

From now on, there’s only one Susannah. There’s no competition. I’m setting my own rules, and I’m doing what I want to do. I’m taking baking back.

And you know what? Maybe I won’t continue Baking Bad next year. Maybe I’ll buy all of my desserts from the Hyvee bakery. Maybe I’ll never touch a whisk again.

Maybe.