“Don’t stress so much, you’ll be fine, you have good grades.”
It takes everything for me not to roll my eyes at those words. This is how almost all of my conversations about college go with adults — whether it’s teachers, parents or other family members.
The conversation always starts with a simple question about what colleges I’m interested in or what major I plan on pursuing. Inevitably, the interaction boils down to the applications and my concerns about requirements, deadlines and being a competitive applicant.
Then I get some Master Yoda-level advice about how I’ll be fine and not to think about it too much.
For some reason, adults in their infinite wisdom seem to think the only thing a student needs to get into a decent college is good grades and an extracurricular here and there. But now you need unique extracurriculars, stellar recommendations and various work experiences.
Adults, whether it’s parents or just family friends, are often out of touch with the rigor and competitiveness of college applications, causing them to be dismissive of students’ concerns and making the process more stressful.
While parents and other adults in a student’s life can give good college advice at times, it’s been decades since they personally went through the application process. It has gotten so much more competitive than in the 1970s. What once worked for them just doesn’t cut it anymore.
For one, more people are applying. From 1992 to 2004, the number of applicants to four-year colleges grew from 1.19 million to 1.71 million students, an increase of 44%, according to the Journal of Economic Perspectives. As a result, students are now competing against a larger pool of applicants for limited spots.
And not only are there more people students have to compete with, but the expectations from college admissions feel so much higher than they were for baby boomers, Gen X and even older millennials.
Acceptance rates at the top 50 most selective schools fell from 35.9% in 2006 to as low as 4.39% last year. Those trends only seem to be accelerating because schools aren’t adapting to an increase in population, according to The College Investor.
To get into competitive schools, straight A’s are now the bare minimum. And forget about just having a decent SAT score; you need to have an amazing score, since the median SAT scores for 68% of schools have increased by 100 points or more since 1985. And while extracurriculars, leadership roles and community service were bonus points once, they’re almost necessities now.
Students must have a portfolio that includes national awards, research internships and multiple strong recommendation letters—something that was rarely needed for past generations.
Obviously, not all schools have a rigorous application process, so it's not always necessary to stress about it. But even if a school is easier to get into, students still have to compete for things like merit scholarships.
Plus, if there’s one thing that has been shoved down the throats of students since the end of junior year, it’s that they need to “stand out” to colleges. But adults fail to realize what activities and aspects actually stand out to colleges these days.
Being a student athlete used to show that you could balance work while juggling two-hour daily practices, but at SM East, more than half of the student body are student-athletes. Being part of organizations like the National Honor Society may seem like it would garner the attention of colleges, but according to the NHS website, there are more than 1.4 million students in the program.
The work I did for the NHS program, from maintaining a GPA of 3.65 or higher, hours of volunteering, and showing leadership in my classes, means nothing due to the number of students in the program.
Adults may say that taking Advanced Placement classes makes you stand out, but taking AP classes doesn’t have the same impact because while only about 5000 schools had AP classes in 1980, more than 80% of high schools in the US offer more than five AP classes, according to the AP website. Which is great for accessible education, but it makes standing out so much harder.
So when adults tell students that they shouldn’t stress about their college applications without considering it from a modern-day perspective, it's dismissive of the challenges the student is facing and the work they have to put into their application.
This makes it hard for students to rely on adults in their lives during this intense year, since they know adults don’t fully understand the anxiety and pressure of current college applications.
Adults who have a kid in their life, whether they are a family member, friend or student, who’s in high school and preparing to apply to college, should take the time to do research about what colleges are looking for these days.
And although students do need reassurance that they’ll do well when applying for college, it can come across as dismissive. The most important thing they need is support and someone to lean on during one of the most stressful times of their life.
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