Attached to Nostalgia: It’s unrealistic to make fun of someone for having an attachment item or asking them to get rid of it

Making my bed — an integral part of my morning routine. When I turn off my alarm each morning, I go through the process of fluffing my pillows, pulling up my comforter and tucking in my sheets. In this process, it’s become a habit to place my childhood stuffed elephant and blankets behind the largest pillow in hopes to avoid the humiliation of someone seeing childish items I still sleep with each night. 

I refuse to retire my faded gray elephant with a hole in its nose and my white square blankets that could be mistaken as dish rags. Just because my 18th birthday is around the corner doesn’t mean I automatically have to say goodbye to my nostalgic tokens — and neither should anyone else. 

At some point in your early childhood, you may have received a certain comfort item — a blanket or stuffed animal that hasn’t left your side since, giving you that unexplainable joy from twiddling it in your fingers or using it as a pillow.

It’s a common misconception that allowing a child to keep their “lovey” or attachment item past their teen years will harm their growth and development by possibly creating a lack of independence or judgment from peers. But this shouldn’t be the case — security objects can be used to cope with anxiety and shouldn’t be considered embarrassing. 

A child’s security blanket or beloved teddy can actually be a good thing, according to an article by Preschool Inspirations. Research shows that when a child is younger, their blankies and lovies can boost confidence levels and self-value. Children’s lovey objects are like “the first training wheels for telling themselves ‘you’re all right,’” said Psychotherapist Anna Walters.  With that built-in sense of security, children feel safe enough to take small risks when trying new things, explore on their own and grow.

Sure, relying on a piece of fabric to cope with problems loses its practicality when you transition from elementary to high school. However, these items can still be under a blanket or tucked in a closet as an extra warm hug when you’ve been broken up with or just failed your Anatomy exam.

The days where I feel like nothing is going my way would be more difficult if I didn’t have the consistent comfort provided by my blanket and gray elephant. Yes, it sounds childish, but there’s something about these handheld, pocketable items that provides a calming reassurance of anxiety. It isn’t my only method of coping with the chaotic emotions of my teenage years, but when I’ve had a bad day or did poorly on an Algebra exam, my blankets are something that can make it a little better on top of texts from my friends and hugs from my mom. 

Even seemingly-common items like a worn-in water bottle or raggedy T-shirt can provide feelings of safety and familiarity. Leaning on these specific items for support over time creates consistency during changing times — the same comfort that a baby blanket gives. 

Such security objects are “rooted in sensorial elements that lessen the stress of separation, while they soothe and comfort the child,” according to Psychology Today. Each aspect of the item — like its smell, faded color or worn-out spots — is part of the unique relationship between the object and the child. Not only does the security blanket or lovey act as a comfort, but it has become a physical keepsake of memories and nostalgia.

These objects can bring a sense of home anywhere — from sleepovers to your workplace, to school.

Sleepovers, for example, can provoke anxiety due to the separation from home for some kids. In these cases, bringing a lovey can help with sleep because the scent reminds them of their home and family. The truth is we all, adults and children, use and benefit from comfort objects even if we don’t realize it. It may be obvious items like a blanket or stuffed animal or it may be your phone, wedding ring, family photo or a torn up pair of sneakers.

Security objects make us feel connected and grounded to the world around us​​, according to therapist Mark Brenner. Without your trusted object you could feel lost, confused or out of sorts. So stop being the person I fear when I place my elephant behind my pillow. And let’s try not to comment or make fun of people that still love the comfort their stuffed animals bring them.

As a little girl, I would rely on the feeling of holding my stuffed elephant and blankies as a method to soothe my stress and anxiety. Now, I have learned other mechanisms as a young adult such as different sports and listening to music to cope with anxieties. Transitioning into a teenager, my lovey has shown me how to find that trust within other outlets such as people and activities. 

Even if you think it’s immature or foolish to still own and use your beloved stuffed animals, it doesn’t harm anyone. There is no shame in keeping it until you’re an adult as long as you know it’s just an item, and your anxiety doesn’t rely on it. Finding security in the familiar scent of your childhood or the feeling of the texture is normal and shouldn’t be shunned. ​​Whether it’s a silky blanket or a Star Wars water bottle that brings you comfort, you shouldn’t be ashamed of the attachment you have to it.