Relationships Through the Screen: Our generation should be aware of social media’s affects on relationships and breakups to avoid unhealthy experiences

It’s not uncommon to hear that someone’s streak with their number-one-best-friend has finally reached 300 days, their screen time is now nine hours thanks to TikTok’s endless videos to scroll through or they’re sleep derived thanks to FaceTime calls going until three a.m. with their newest fling. 

Thanks to the death grip COVID has taken on the world, Gen Z and Millenials now don’t even have the option to make lunch plans with an old friend they know they’re going to cancel. Friendships are kept solely online –– you stay in touch with the people you’re willing to make an effort for. The more I thought about it, the idea that FaceTiming your significant other for five hours straight through the night becoming normalized seemed more and more absurd. 

This past year I’ve spent more time on my phone talking to friends than I’ve spent eating, which is a weighted statement. When that time decreased during school, I found myself wondering what they were so busy doing that they couldn’t talk even just one day a week? 

Breakups can be particularly tough with social media as you have constant and instant access to that same person you’re trying to break away from –– with all the time on your hands, it seems easier to shoot them a text. While this is a problem that might seem difficult to fix during COVID-19, an age when the only way to connect with people is through technology, you have to remember that taking breaks from social media and talking to people is acceptable and encouraged. 

It’s okay if you need to unfollow your ex for a few weeks to move on or start texting a friend more often in oder to keep your mind off a failed romantic relationship.

Our grandparents grew up in a time when it was normal to go two or three days without talking to the person they were dating. According to an article from medium.com, this aspect of dating has been lost as social media surges and contributes to our generation’s relationships turning toxic. It should be normalized to take healthy breaks from your significant other to ensure your relationship will end on good terms for the both of you.

We’re given unlimited access to a person on Instagram or Snapchat, making it that much easier to keep them at the peak of your thoughts. From sharing every funny TikTok you come across with each other to lingering too long on the last photo they posted, is becomes like an addiction. 

You shouldn’t feel obligated to know where your significant other is at all times, or worried if you go over a day without talking. Checking Snap Maps every hour isn’t the way to create security in a relationship. 

This kind of behavior can lead to a cycle of toxic relationships that may feel impossible to break. According to a 2019 study by The University of Oregon, our generation’s online presence can have a negative effect on our mental health, putting us at more risk of being influenced by depression. But many aren’t willing to pull away completely from social media, so you have to understand the little things you can do to to protect your mental health. 

Creating space between yourself and your ex isn’t regulated to just physical distance, but includes space on social media too. Constantly checking their Instagram profile isn’t getting over them –– that space is needed so you can move on and grow from what you’ve experienced. This space needs to be applied both during and after the relationship to avoid unhealthy occurrences like logging into your significant other’s Snapchat because they haven’t responded in over an hour.

It can seem scary to put more trust into your relationships by giving each other space, but it allows us to experience each relationship as a lesson rather than your own “perfect” bubble that (inevitably) pops.